Hentai Ryou
by Vada via cretino
Summary: Ryou's not as innocent and naive as he seems. In fact, quite the opposite. Poor, poor Bakura... -Chapter 14 up, Finally!-
1. Staring

Hentai Ryou

By Vada via cretino

Yes, I know I should be working on the second chappie of Darkness, Light, Sugar and Pranks, but as I was starting it, in my notebook, I kinda got distracted. And I have no idea why, but I started to write this instead. Gomen! I have actually started on the second chapter, I just haven't finished it yet… Anyway, here's my latest attempt at fan fiction!

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

***********************************************************************************************

Chapter 1 – Staring 

He's nervous.

Uncomfortable?

Yes.

Definitely uncomfortable. 

Heh. Who'd have though it? My Yami, the very meaning of darkness, the one who would cause the manliest of men to run away screaming with a simple, malicious smirk, nervous because of me – His girly, weakling hikari.

Then again, I think I might be staring slightly.

Okay, so maybe I'm gawking, but who wouldn't?

My extremely sexy Yami is stood there in nothing but a towel, his silvery-white hair is dripping wet, and his bangs are covering his dark chocolate eyes slightly. I'm guessing blocking some of his eyesight. 

I hope so; I believe I'm drooling.

But I know he can tell I'm staring at him, hell, even naïve little Yugi would be able to tell I'm staring at him. Nothing against the kid, but he is just so blind!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes… staring.

I can see his muscles, too. His well-formed stomach and his strong arms…

Oh my, I think I'm going to faint.

I really should stop staring now, he doesn't look too happy. He looks… scared? He can't be scared! Fear isn't in his vocabulary. But if it were, the definition would be something along the lines of "Baka Pharoah and his Ra-damned puzzle of doom".

Hmm. Now he's clinging to the towel as if he's afraid I'm going to snatch it out of his hands. I wonder what he'd look without it, though… No! Bad Ryou! Naughty Ryou!

My hand twitches slightly, slowly moving upwards as if having a mind of its own. Luckily, I notice this and quickly slapped it back down with my other hand. Earning a raised eyebrow from Bakura.

'Baka!' I yell at myself. What was I going to do, _grope him?_ Even though the idea sounded appealing, I like living, you know.

\\What was that?\\

Oh shit. Stupid Ryou! How could you forget that he can read your thoughts?

My thoughts?!

_Shit, shit, shit!_

You may not think this to look at me, but I have quite a perverted mind. Most of that pervertedness is directed at, yup, you guessed it, Mr. Sexy over there.

\\…Ryou?\\

For a being of darkness he sure as hell didn't sound intimidating just then.

\Uh, yes Yami?\

\\Did you just call me a baka?\\

I just stand there with my mouth slightly open. I probably somewhat resemble a fish.

\…What?\

You are a genius, Ryou! Pure genius!

\\You just called me a baka.\\

Okay, now he sounded a teensy bit scarier, then. What with the growling and baring of fangs and all.

\I did?\

That's better! The tilting of the head and the puppy-dog eyes. He's sure to believe me!

\\Yes. You called me a baka.\\

I don't think he's buying it. Damn him. I'm his cute, innocent, naïve hikari! Just because I'm lying right now, it doesn't mean he shouldn't believe me!

\I don't remember doing such a thing, Yami. Why would I call you a baka?\

When in doubt, deny, deny, deny! I've turned my puppy-dog eyes on to maximum cuteness and I'm smiling sweetly, head still tilted.

He narrows his eyes. \\You tell me.\\

ARGH! He's _impossible_!

'Paranoid baka!!' I scream in my head. 

Aren't I a clever little hikari?

'Whoops…'

"Ryou…" He growls, only this time out loud.

I sigh loudly and just look – Yes, look! Not stare! – blankly at him and shrug. "I can't help it. I'm mentally unstable. The doctors said I only have one week to live."

Considering the expression on his face I'd say it worked. He is definitely confused. I guess he's all brawn and no brains – I can live with that. Without waiting for him to answer, I turn round and walk downstairs, letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

I groan once I realize why I'd gone upstairs in the first place. I really needed to pee!

Grumbling the words "Idiot," and, "Dumbass," to myself, I trudge back upstairs.

"Hikari?"

Uh oh. He's growling. _Again._ I swear, he must have been a dog in his past life or something. And yes, his bite is as bad as his bark. Not that he's actually bitten me or anything. Well, not in the real world, just in Ryou's pathetic little world of perversion.

"Yes, Yami?" I squeak.

Oh yeah, the 'I'm-a-weak-pathetic-fool-please-_please-_don't-kill-me' voice. That'll work.

"Why do you keep calling me a baka and a dumbass? What the hell did I do to you? You like living, don't you?"

I gulp and slowly turn around to face him. Even though, technically, I'd done nothing wrong, his glare is just so scary! At least he's wearing clothes now. Even though he looks sexy wearing anything, especially his trademark leather pants with a white shirt. Though I guess I'm only saying that because that's what he's wearing right now. But I'll bet he'll look even sexier wearing nothing. Ack, I'm such a pervert!

"No, no! I wasn't calling _you_ a baka or a dumbass!" I protest, my voice still sounding like a ten year old girl on helium. (A/N: Hehe…Original, ne?)

Hey, it's the truth. He doesn't seem to believe me, though. If he narrows his eyes any more he'll look like that Brock dude from Pokemon.

"Who were you saying it to, then? Yourself?" He snorted.

I blink. "Yes."

Honesty's my middle name. Yep. Ryou Honesty Bakura. That's me.

The look on his face is so adorable! He looks so confused it's almost cute. _Almost_. He's too dark and sexy to be cute. That's more my forte.

"Ryou, you worry me. I think–"

"Hai, hai. That's great, Bakura. Now if you'll excuse–"

"Don't you dare interrupt me, hikari!" He snarled.

Hey, he interrupted me, too! That's not fair. Why is he allowed to do that? Oh yeah. He could snap me in two with his bare hands… 

"Demo –"

"No buts! I'm the stronger and the smarter of the two of us…"

I snorted at the last comment. Smarter? I don't think so. Though maybe snorting at him was a bad idea, he's giving me a really nasty look. Oh well, it's not like looks can kill… But _he_ can. He's still rambling on about something, but I don't really think it's worth my time. It's probably something to do with me being weird, weak, pathetic, cute… Wait? _Cute?! _He just said I'm cute?! I stare at him, wide-eyed, and I'm guessing my mouth is open pretty wide right now, too.

"…But not in a good way! You're all prissy and girly, and I'll bet most girls think you're gay." He snapped quickly.

Is he blushing? Nah, I think it's just my desperate mind making me see things I want to. He's right, though, girls _do _think I'm gay. But…I _am_ gay. I'd like to see his face when I told him _that._

He frowned. "And what's more–"

"Demo… Bakuraaaa." I whine, somewhat sounding like a little child.

"Stop interrupting me, damn it! I'm trying to–"

"Iie, you don't unders–"

"SHUT UP!" He yelled. 

Ouch, my ears. Damn his voice is loud… and scary… and extremely intimidating.  I growl despite my current, terrified position – very un-Ryou like.

"IIE! _YOU _SHUT UP! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU POLITELY BUT YOU WON'T LISTEN!" I shout, extremely frustrated at my Yami.

Since he's not saying anything I guess it's rude of me not to continue, right? Better pretend to be all tough so he doesn't beat me to a pulp before I even reach the bathroom.

"I REALLY NEED TO PEE!!!"

Ahaha. That definitely shut up him. Now he's just standing there with a shocked expression on his face, and this time I'm not imagining it – He _is_ blushing! I do another un-Ryou like thing and smirk at my flustered Yami.

"Now if you will _kindly_ excuse me."

I turn round and walk proudly to the bathroom, trying not to laugh. I can feel the embarrassment through our link. Although I was extremely proud of myself for standing up to Bakura… I was slightly afraid of what he'd do to me once he'd recovered from his shock due to my very uncharacteristic outburst. 

Hell, I was terrified. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Where is he?" I mumble to myself while searching the corridor for any signs of a pissed off loony with a knife or some such weaponry. Sure that he wasn't there, I crept out of the bathroom as quietly as I could. I glance to my left where my room is. I could always make a run for it, but then he'd hear me… But if I didn't, and he was in fact upstairs somewhere, he could easily pounce on me and… BAD RYOU! Stop thinking dirty thoughts! He'll kill you, you baka!

…Wait. I could have sworn I heard something. If Bakura is lurking in the shadows, I swear to Kami-sama that I'll…I'll…aw, hell, I don't know! …Run for my life?

"B-bakura?" I call out meekly. "A-are y-you there?" 

I'm the brave and mighty Ryou Honesty Bakura. I'm not scared of anything. If a big scary monster jumped at me in a dark ally and threatened to devour my soul I'd simply laugh in its face. Yeah… I am _not_ afraid. 

I slowly tip toe across the corridor towards my room, silently praying Bakura has gone out to torment some poor souls in a retirement home or something.

"I am not afraid. I am _not _afraid. I am **_not_** afraid." I mumble to myself reassuringly. 

"Like hell you're not!" He snarls.

My eyes widen and I turn round quickly to come face-to-face with my Yami, who currently had a look of amusement and menace on his face. I 'eep' and back away from him as quickly as I can. My eyes widen as I realized he _did_ have a knife with him. HE WAS GOING TO STAB ME?! I was utterly terrified. The corridor started to swirl and my vision went funny. All I saw was Bakura's evil smirk before everything went dark.

***********************************************************************************************

Hehehe! Did Bakura stab Ryou?! Aw, come on. You know and I know and Bakura knows that he didn't! What kind of authoress would I be if I killed Ryou off straight away? Well, what did you think? If you have any suggestions, feel free. But I'm trying to concentrate on Bakura and Ryou throught the fic. Now I have two fics to keep up with. Sorry if there are any errors or anything! I had to upload this quickly without checking it 'cause of my nagging sister. R and R, 

Arigato! ^_^


	2. Do you think I'm sexy?

Hentai Ryou

By Vada via cretino

Thanks for the reviews, people! I'm currently working on two stories at once, so to make things slightly easier for me, I'll alternate which story I update. Unless I get sudden inspiration or something, though that never happens.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, do you think I'd be wasting my time writing fan fics? Of course not. I'd be busy making episodes filled with Yaoi and making Yami shirtless in every one. ^_^ 

Warnings: Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

********************************************************************************************

**Chapter 2 – Do you think I'm sexy?**

Normal POV

"I don't want to go to school today, Daddy, I want to stay home and bake cookies with you…"

Bakura, who was currently knelt next to a waking-up and slightly dazed Ryou, raised an eyebrow.

"What in Ra's name are you on about, hikari?!" 

Feeling frustrated and guilty, though he'd never _ever_ admit this to _anyone_, Bakura shook Ryou's shoulders in order to wake him up fully. 

"Wake up weakling hikari, dearest!" He said in a singsong voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ryou stirred slightly and his eyes fluttered open. Blinking and looking around, Ryou's eyes, which had landed on a very annoyed-looking Bakura with a knife still in his hand, widened considerably. Before Bakura knew what hit him, Ryou let out a very loud, high-pitched scream.

Ryou's POV

Oh my God! Oh my God! He's going to kill me! Where's a Pharaoh when you need one?! At least he's temporarily deafened by my extremely manly war cry… I should make my tactful and extremely non-weakling-like escape now.

I get up and run, though my head hurts like hell. I bet that when I had that sudden dizzy spell – don't you just hate it when they creep up on you like that? – I fell and hit my head on the floor. Bakura, being the extra nice Yami that he is, had probably just let me fall.

Where am I going to go? If I stay in the house he'll probably cut me in to a million pieces. If I run away I'll have to come back, and I'll _still_ end up getting cut in to a million pieces. Decisions, decisions… 

"Oh Ryouuuu. Where are you my precious little aibou?" 

I shuddered at his tone. He's enjoying this. Damn him. Why couldn't I have been given a moderately sane Yami? I love him and all, sure, but he could at least _try_ not to kill people and could show a little compassion every now and again. Then again, my idea of compassion is him sticking his tongue down my throat. I rolled my eyes at myself. I really need to get out more.

Speaking of getting out. I'm _trapped_. Why, oh why, did I run into the kitchen?! The exit is at the other end of the house! Plus, the kitchen is full of more knives and other sharp things! _Shit!_

At this point I'm reduced to a shaking, curled up ball on the floor. All coherent thought gone, and the only thought going through my mind right was, 'I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.' You get the picture.

\\Silly hikari! I'm not going to kill you!\\

Ugh, even in my mind he sounded amused. But…he wasn't going to kill me? Then why did he have a knife in his hands?

\\To scare you out of your mind.\\ Came the smart reply.

\I hope the Pharaoh kills you slowly and painfully!\ I yelled back. 

I'm probably the most stupidest person in the world. Is stupidest even a word?! Aw hell, I don't care. I know a 16-year-old shouldn't think things like this, but… I want my Daddy!

I look up from my knees – I'm crouching in a defensive position, okay?! –  to see Bakura standing in the doorway with a sexy, sadistic smirk on his face. I'll bet I look really pathetic right now. Then again, I'm guessing I always look pathetic to Bakura. Not that I care. Okay, that's a lie. I _do_ care. But I'm not going to let _him_ know that.

"Now, now, hikari dearest. That wasn't a very nice thing to say, was it?"

I raise an eyebrow in disbelief. Hai, I _know_ he was being sarcastic, but hearing those words coming from _him_…

It just…wasn't…right.

"Shut up." I mumbled. I was in no mood for him. Having a headache from fainting and hitting my head on the floor, due to being scared out of your mind by a sexy yet extremely scary psychopath tends to do that to you.

"Now that _definitely_ wasn't nice." He growled.

I just give him a 'does-it-look-like-I-care?' sort of look. Though I know I'm in for it big time. He doesn't like it when I'm all polite and nice, which is pretty much my personality, but when I talk back at him, well, let's just say I'd rather be under the wrath of Yami Malik. 

"Stupid hikari. You're not good for anything. All you do is cause me trouble. And I'm not even allowed to kill people?! What am I supposed to do around here?"

I got up and shot him an incredulous look. "_I_ cause _you_ trouble?! Well excuse me Mr. 'I'm so tough and cool' but I'll have you know I have saved your ass on many occasions!"

"_You_?! Save _my_ ass?!" He snorted.

Yes, Yami, your very, very nice ass.

"Remember when you threw a Hamburger at the Chef in McDonald's screaming about the fact they were trying to poison you?" (1)

"They were! That shit is _awful_!"

"I had to flirt with him so he wouldn't press charges!" I shuddered. He was fat and bald and covered in grease…ugh. 

He growled. "I don't appreciate you selling your body to get what you want. I could've just sent him to the Shadow Realm." 

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. My body, in my opinion, was his and his only. 

"Remember when you 'accidentally' tripped Yugi up at the arcade and his Yami was going to send you to the Shadow Realm?" 

"Hai, demo–" 

"Or when you put super glue on Yami's chair, and when he sat down he was stuck for hours?" I interrupted with a slight giggle.

He smirked at the memory. "You _made_ me go see the Pharaoh no Baka and his stupid brat. I figured I might as well have some fun."

"Bakura!" I scolded. "Yami and Yugi are nice people!"

My Yami laughed in that sexy, insane way of his and shook his head. "Yami is an over-protective baka and Yugi is a weak little twirp."

I rolled my eyes at him, trying hard not to laugh. "_Anyway_… as I was saying, if it weren't for me, you'd be in the Shadow Realm right now!"

"Only because you and the brat gave the Pharaoh no Baka 'the look'." He snorted. "Besides, I could've kicked his ass easy." 

I know I shouldn't…but the idea of him _ever_ defeating Yugi's Yami was hilarious! I burst into laughter. 

"Yeah right!" 

He growled and stuck his nose in the air. "Could, too." 

I walked up to him and patted his shoulder, as if to comfort him. "And I think Weevil Underwood is the sexiest person alive."

He wrinkled his nose in disgust and shot me a murderous glare. I smiled sweetly at him and walked past him and into the Living Room to watch T.V.

Bakura came in shortly and I looked up at him, to see with him a thoughtful expression on his face. I shrugged and focused my attention back to the T.V.

"Ryou?"

"Hmm?" I answered absently.

"_Do_ you think Weevil is the sexiest person alive?"

I was so shocked and disgusted I almost fell of the couch. How could he even consider that for one second?! Weevil? Sexy? Eww! He has those ugly yellow glasses and that awful green hair, and I'm not even going to go on to the matter of his fashion sense! (2)

He chuckled. "Good. For a second there I thought you were insane."

I raised an eyebrow. "Even if I was, it would be entirely your fault."

He shrugged carelessly. "Just because I like to see people suffer and scream out in pain, it does not mean I'm insane."

"Sure, Yami."

[Insert sarcastic comment here] 

I'm scared. He's been staring at me for the past few minutes. What the hell is his problem? Gah…I'm starting to sound like my Yami. Maybe this is what its like for him every time I stare. And I stare a lot. And that's an understatement. Stop staring at me, dammit!

"Ryou?"

"H-hai?"

He said your name and you can't even answer without sounding pathetic?! ..And now you're shouting at yourself. You need help Ryou.

"Do you think _I'm_ sexy?"

What the...?! Where the hell did _that_ come from?! I'm not answering that. Iie. I refuse to answer it.

"W-what?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"_I said_, do you think I'm sexy?"

"Wouldn't I be incredibly narcissistic if I thought that?" 

I'm so clever. Responding to a question with a question. And a very smart question at that. I don't think he even knows what narcissistic means.

"I don't care whether you'd be narcissistic or not. Answer the Ra-damned question!"

I'm doomed! What will do if I say he's not? What will he do if I say he _is?_ Of course I think he is. I mean, you'd have to be completely blind to think otherwise. Or a straight guy. And I'm neither. So, yeah…

"Why do you want to know what I think?" I replied slyly.

If I have to go down, I'm doing down fighting, dammit! …And I _really_ need to stop cussing. I'm the friendly and polite Ryou Bakura. (I've decided to drop the whole honesty thing, it's not really working) If I so much as mention the word damn in front of Yugi, his Yami would have me in the Shadow Realm before you can say 'Ryou…you're stupid.'

"What does that matter? Why the hell won't you answer my question?" He growled.

Hey, he's not supposed to do that! Now I have three more questions to answer! Why does he even care if I think he's sexy or not? Can't he see what kind of position he's putting me in? 

Bad Ryou! Naughty Ryou! Can't you keep thoughts like that out of your head for five whole minutes?! 

I sigh and look into Yami's smouldering, chocolate-coloured eyes…which are currently narrowed in anger. It was only a simple question. Why is he so mad that I didn't answer it?

"What ever I answer…you won't kill me, right?" 

He's laughing at me! It's _not_ funny, dam- dang it!

"Of course not, hikari." 

Is he…smiling? Does he already know the answer? His smile is creepy. Or maybe it's just that I've never seen him actually _smile_ before. Smirk, leer, growl etc. sure. But never smile.

"Um…well…" I muttered. 

Hey, look at the floor! It's an amazing shade of blue! …What's that stain? I've never noticed that before. Looks like…spaghetti sauce or something? Damn, ack, I mean dang! That's not going to come out…

"Ryou!"

"Huh? Nani?"

Oh yeah. He wanted me to answer, didn't he? Gah…he's looking angry, and…amused? Pfft, he always did have a weird sense of humour. 

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Well?"

 "Hai." I muttered angrily. "Happy now?!"

He looked at me gleefully and nodded his head. I raised an eyebrow of my own. Why the…heck did he need to know that? 

He slapped me on the back. Hard.

"You're not so bad looking yourself, you know, hikari!" He chirped happily.

I just stare at his ass as he walks out of the room. Hey, you should know by now how perverted I am. He's _my_ Yami. I can look at his ass if I want to! 

Now I sound like Yami Yugi! Argh! 

He turns round and catches me looking at him. Or more specifically his ass. Is he angry? 

Iie.

He just smirks, winks at me and continues to walk out of the room, swaying his hips as he does so. He's doing that on purpose! All I want to know is…

What the _hell?_

********************************************************************************************

Alright! I kind of got stuck in the middle of that. Okay, so I go stuck at the beginning, the middle and the end. But I did it! It didn't actually turned out the way I planned…but oh well! My greatest apologies if it does suck. *Bows humbly* Did I already tell you that I love you all and you're all very, very nice people? Well you are. ^_^ Okies…I'm finished sucking up now. -.-;; _Anyway_…Please review! Sorry if the swearing was a little extreme. I don't seem that much to me. *Shrugs* You can never be too sure. Review, review, review!

(1) Do they even have McDonald's in Japan? Ah well. They do now! ^_^

(2) Nothing against any Weevil fans out there! If there are any… Does he have a Japanese name or is it just Weevil Underwood? *Shrugs* I'm never going to mention him again so it doesn't really matter!


	3. Silly hikari, I already knew

Hentai Ryou

By Vada via cretino

Arigatou minna-san! Lots of lovely reviews! ^_^ Well, I was thinking about doing Bakura's POV for this chapter, so you knew what he was thinking…but I decided to make you suffer just a little bit longer. *Cackles* Then again, I might just keep this a Ryou POV fic. I'm not sure yet.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. I don't make any money out of writing this. Blah, blah, blah, you know the drill.

Warnings: Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

"_Songs from the radio being sung by Ryou"_

_Songs from the radio_

********************************************************************************************

**Chapter 3 – Silly hikari, I already knew.**

Ryou's POV

I sighed and closed my eyes, drowning out the annoying voices talking on the radio. I shifted my current position on the bed slightly and folded my arms behind my head, using them as a sort of pillow.

I was confused. _Really_ confused. The past couple of days, Bakura had been flirting with me. _Toying_ with me. Constantly and relentlessly. I guess I kind of enjoyed it, but it's so frustrating. Damn him!

He's not his usual grumpy, evil, mean self either. Far from it. I don't understand it. It's quite scary. He hasn't sent anyone to the Shadow Realm in a while. That means something _definitely_ isn't right. 

Does he know how I feel about him? And yes, I mean that more than just the sense of drooling over his body. His eyes, they seem to sparkle nowadays. But I just can't place the emotion. Happiness? Mischief? _What?_

Whatever it is, it's so damn confusing. 

I decided to escape the continuous onslaught of flirting by residing in my room for the time being. His playful actions and words were getting to me. If my Yami isn't careful, I'll end up flinging myself at him and attaching my lips to his. And he definitely wouldn't be happy about _that_.

…Or would he?

I shake my head slightly. No way. I don't even know whether he's straight or not. But does he know that I'm…well…gay? He must be pretty idiotic to not realize that. And as dim-witted as he may seem, Bakura's not completely stupid. 

And what about Bakura? Is _he…_well… that way inclined? He's never seemed to pay attention to anyone besides Yugi's Yami and me, though. Apart from the people he sends to the Shadow Realm. But that's another matter entirely.  He only pays attention to Yugi's Yami because he wants to kill him. And he only pays attention to me because I'm his hikari and he's stuck with me… 

I gasp as I suddenly feel warmth and weight on my stomach. During my train of thought, I hadn't noticed the other presence slip into my room. Opening my eyes I see a very sexy-looking Yami smirking down at me. 

What the _fuck_? Why is he sat on my stomach? Why is he in my room? Why can't he leave me alone?!

"Hey hikari." He purred. "Whatcha doing?"

I groaned inwardly. He just _loves_ to torment me. But…the only way he _knows_ he's tormenting me, is if he _knows_…

I glare as best I can, but looking as cute and innocent as I do, it didn't really look all too threatening. 

He simply blinks at me, cocking his head to the side in expectancy for an answer.  He looks weird like that. And stealing my look, too! Humph! The _nerve_!

"Listening to music." I reply, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.

"Whatcha listening to?" 

"The radio." I answer through gritted teeth.

"What station?"

I shoot him an irritable look. "Does it matter?"

He shrugs. "Not really."

I close my eyes and try to prevent myself from biting him in frustration. Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away? I let out an inaudible sigh and turn my attention back to the radio. 

_Another turning point_

_A fork stuck in the road_

_Time grabs you by the wrist_

_Directs you where to go_

 I smile slightly and sing quietly to the music, completely forgetting the presence of my darker half.

_"So make the best of this test_

_And don't ask why_

_It's not a question_

_But a lesson learned in time_

_It's something unpredictable_

_But in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life"_

A slight cough causes my voice to catch in my throat and my eyes to snap open. Bakura is looking at me in amusement with an eyebrow raised.

Dammit, he's still here!

"You know, for a weakling, girly hikari, you don't sing half bad." 

I frown at him. "What does me being a girly, weakling hikari have anything to do with how well I sing?"

"Seeing as you're quite cute and all, as well as having a good singing voice, you'd probably be able to get any girl you wanted."

I blink and feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. Not only did he just ignore my question, he _complimented_ me? And is he really that stupid? Any _girl_ I want? I don't want a girl! I want you, you baka! 

I'm really tempted to scream that out loud. But I go with my better judgement and keep my mouth shut. 

"Um…Bakura? I'm not exactly into girls…" I mumble quietly. 

I feel so stupid. And I'll bet my face is really red. The whole tomato-faced look doesn't really go for me. Well, I suppose it'd be better if I told him rather than he finds out by me trying force my tongue down his throat, right?

"It's okay if you don't like any girls at the moment. I'm sure you'll find one."

He's trying to stop his 'smile' turning into a smirk. I can just tell. Why is he trying to give me advice anyway? That's the kind of thing Yugi's Yami would do. Not _my_ Yami. 

"_No_ Bakura. I don't like _girls_."

I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. Not only is he being completely stupid by not understand what I'm trying to say; he's sitting on me! Which is enough to get my over active imagination to see naughty things. _Really_ naughty things.

"What do you mean, hikari?" He asks, 'innocently'.

He _knows._ I know he does! He's just doing this to make me suffer. Well it's working! 

I cringe and shut my eyes. Willing him to go away. Willing the radio to blow up into a million pieces. This song just _had_ to come on, didn't it? I want to die. I want to just shrink and disappear in a little 'poof' motion like they do in those weird little cartoon type things Bakura likes to watch.

_You. I want to take you to a gay bar_

_I want to take you to a gay bar_

_I want to take you to a gar bar, gay bar, gay bar_

_Let's start a war_

_Start a nuclear war_

_At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar_

_At the gay bar_

_Now tell me, do ya_

_Do ya have any money?_

_I want to spend all your money_

_At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar_

Bakura bursts into laughter. His whole body is shaking and his laughter is drowning out the radio. At least I can't hear it anymore. My face is now redder than a tomato. It's as red as a tomato with sunburn. 

For some reason, I suddenly feel really angry. _Really_ angry. I guess Bakura felt it through our link as he has abruptly stopped laughing.

"Hikari…? Are you-"

"Get. Off. Me. NOW!" I scream.

Stupid Yami! Stupid, sexy Yami! Damn him! Damn him straight to hell! I hate him! Well…I don't hate him, but he's not one of my favourite people right now! I'd rather go on a date with Anzu Masaki than be with him. That's how angry I am!

I push him off me and he lands onto the floor with a satisfying thud. I stomp up to the radio and throw it across the room and into a wall, where it smashes and breaks. All while my Yami is staring at me open-mouthed. 

"What are you staring at?!" I snap.

My face is still red, but now mixed with anger as well as embarrassment. I feel like hurting something. 

My Yami starts to laugh again. I growl and he looks surprised for a moment. He gets up and rubs his no doubt sore behind slightly. 

"Two words, hikari." He said, still laughing. "Anger management."

I opened my mouth to retort, but shut it again. What got into me? I never get violent. Never! Ack, Bakura is having a bad effect on me. Maybe he's right? I do need some sort of help. I mentally roll my eyes. Of _course_ I need help. But I'm not going to make a bigger fool out of myself and say he's right. I'd never live it down.

I flop down onto my bed and stick my tongue out at him.

At least I'm feeling better. I'd feel even better if he left me to think about him in private. He might hear my thoughts, if he hasn't already. I lay back down and sigh, glancing at the pieces that were once the radio scattered on the floor, before closing my eyes.

"I think we're going to need a new radio." I mumbled quietly.

I heard a soft snicker from Bakura somewhere in the room. I look at the clock on the wall. 9:53pm. Had I really been up in my room that long? No wonder Bakura came up to annoy me. He must have been bored out of his mind. Oh Kami…he better not have done anything drastic. I yawn slightly. Ah, who cares? I'll deal with it later.

I feel weight on my stomach again and open my eyes, irritated. My Yami was on me, again! And not the way I want him on me, either. I just want to sleep! He's not planning on sleeping on me, is he? No, no, no. I couldn't handle that. 

My Yami just stares back with a sleepy expression. He looks scarily at peace like that. He's lying down on me this time, with his chin resting on my stomach and the rest of his body curled up on my bed. You know those moments where kittens yawn or puppies look at you with, well, puppy-dog eyes, and you just have to go 'aww'? Well now was one of those moments. But I decide against it. 

I sigh and close my eyes. Well if he's going to be snuggly and affectionate I might as well milk it for all it's worth, right? He's surprisingly soft and warm, too. This isn't so bad…

"Hikari?"

I open my eyes to look at him. He's _still _staring at me. I can't prevent the light pink tinge that crosses my features.

"Hmm?" I answer sleepily.

"I already knew, you know."

His voice sends pleasant tremors through my body and I repress the shiver that threatens to crawl up my spine.

"Knew what?"

"Silly hikari. That you're gay, of course."

You know the earlier moment when I wanted to disappear? Well, it's one of those moments again. And I'm pretty sure my face has surpassed the redness of a tomato with sunburn. I should be put in the record books for such an achievement. What's more, I can't escape with my Yami on top of me. Oh, how I wish it were as perverted as it sounded. He simply chuckles at my embarrassment and lowers his head on my stomach, I seem to have become a human pillow, and closes his chocolate-coloured eyes. I change my earlier comments about him being too dark and sexy to look cute. He has somehow managed to look cute _whilst _looking dark and sexy. He mumbles something about how I'm really girly and my hair just screams 'GAY!' 

Well, he certainly knows how to ruin a moment, doesn't he?

Despite myself I laugh softly and close my eyes. Sleepy…warm… Yami…snuggly…

Yes, this isn't so bad. 

This isn't bad at all. 

********************************************************************************************

Ta da! I did it! Well, I should really have done another chapter for my other fic, but I'm stuck with that for the time being. And I watched Yu-Gi-Oh the other day and it had a whole chapter with Yami Bakura! I'm pretty sure I was drooling all the way through. I laughed when he sent those three weirdos, you know, the people that licked Bandit Keith's ass in Duelist Kingdom? Yeah, them, to the Shadow Realm. And my laugh was kind of like a cackle. If someone were there with me they'd have been quite worried. Well, that was what made me do this chapter. Though I don't know why, it just did! ^_^; So…what'd you think? Bad? Good? I'm sorry if it was short, but that's all my unimaginative imagination could come up with for the time being. And I hope it was at least _midly_ fluffy. I tried! Well, Review!


	4. Hippopotamuses

Hentai Ryou

By Vada via cretino

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takehashi does. I don't make any money out of writing this. And all I have is £3 and some gum I found in my pocket. Still want to sue? Feel free. 

Warnings: Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

I decided to thank the people that have reviewed my fanfic. I'm so grateful!

 S. A. Bonasi - I didn't know that about the doll thing, actually. But it definitely sounds like something Yami Bakura would do! And I recently watched the episode in Battle City where Yami Bakura switches with Bakura and takes the attack from Yami. It doesn't show whether he's doing it because he cares, or whether he's just using Bakura because he can't survive without him, but I'm going to be ignorant and decide on the former! Thanks for the reviews. ^_^

Satoshi – It's the same with me. I can be quiet and reserved in front of strangers, but I'm normally a loud-mouthed, irritating cow. But my friends don't seem to mind! A hamburger with egg on it? Ugh. And I've lately heard something that was put on someone's hamburger that definitely was NOT mayonnaise. ; They're gonna sue. I've been put off McDonald's for life.

The Chaotic Ones – Eep! I updated! Don't hurt me! *Hides under the table for safety* Anyways, thanks for reviewing! 

darkarc – Arigatou! ^_^ I plan on having lots and lots of torture in my upcoming chapters! For both Ryou and Bakura! *Cackles evilly*

chibi's ^.~ - I appreciate the tip. I plan on using some form of perverse humour sometime during the fic, don't you worry!

Kri Kri – Thanks for reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

phwee? yami hobo – I don't know if Bakura likes Elmo, but who knows what's going on in the weird mind of his? Not you! *Laughs insanely* Because I won't tell you what he knows just yet, that would be telling. That song is from Electric Six and guess what it's called? Gay Bar. It was stuck in my head and annoyed me to no end. So I used it.

Ranma Higurashi – Hehehe, he can't hide forever! Well, he's gonna try his darndest, but nothing good ever happens to poor Ryou as you're about to find out.

FiRe-AnGeL and Calvin – I appreciate that. Some people have no sense of humour. Well they don't agree with _my_ sense of humour. Okay, so it's mainly my teachers that like to pick on me. So I threw the discus as far as I could and the damn teacher moved out of the way. ;_; I was SO close to hitting her, too!

Celestial Magician – Aww, thanks. Me like fluffy, too. ^_^

chibi_ai – It was cool, wasn't it? And I loved watching the duel against Yami Bakura and Yami. But Yami Bakura was laughing all insane like, it was kinda creepy, but I love him, so I'm willing to overlook that little flaw.

Dark Millenia – Why thanks a bunch! I update as fast as I can without being distracted by my homework. Though I suppose the correct way to put it would be that my writing distracts my homework. Hehe, who cares?

Wolfqueen821 – I'm glad I could distract her for you, Yami-Wolfqueen! And I humbly bow in thanks for reviewing to both of you! *Bows*

Kaial SkyWolf – Thanks for reviewing! I hope there'll be lots more drooling to come. Apologies if that sounded sick and disturbed. :P

VampssAmby10210 – Hehe. I'm glad you like. And I updated! Yay!

Also, thanks to all you other kind people who reviewed my other two chapters. My fingers hurt so much now… 

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

********************************************************************************************

**Chapter 4 – Hippopotamuses **

Oh sweet Mary mother of Jesus, what have I gotten myself into? I am _never_ going clothes shopping with Yugi Mutou or his Yami EVER again! I mean, really, is leather all they ever wear?

I look down at myself and then at the load of clothes in the bags at my feet.  They didn't even let me keep the clothes I'd been wearing before we went shopping. They insisted this look suited me much better. Well in my opinion, faded jeans and a sweater suit me just fine, thank you very much. I don't think black is really my colour. I groan for about the millionth time that day while I wait for the taxi to arrive. People that walk past me are giving me suggestive looks. I'm really, truly scared now.

You may think I'm some sort of wimp, but when a fat lady caked in make-up winks at you and wiggles her behind to appear sexy, you'd be scared for your life, too.

What do they think I am, some sort of street hooker? Then again, I am dressed quite like one. But that's beside the point. I have the look a rabbit would have when a fox has cornered it and there's no way out. I think hookers have more of an 'I'm sexy come and – excuse my language - fuck me' sort of look on their faces. 

STOP LOOKING AT ME YOU UGLY WHORE!

Breathe Ryou. You're okay. You can get through this. The taxi is due to arrive…5 bloody minutes ago! 

But that's fine. Taxis can sometimes arrive late. It doesn't mean you're going to die or anything.

…Maybe just get jumped on by something that highly resembles a hippopotamus.

Ugh. I'm feeling _really_ uncomfortable now. And more so than just the sense of fearing for my life. I mean, it's like having a second skin, _that's_ how tight these blasted leather pants are. And you can see my stomach for Kami's sake! Surely the point of wearing a t-shirt is to actually cover up skin. Then again, this definitely isn't a t-shirt. Hell, I didn't know _what_ it is. I've never worn anything like it in my life. It looks as if it's a size too small and you can see my stomach for Kami's sake!

It's only your stomach. Just calm down, Ryou. When you get home you'll be away from prying eyes and in the company of your Yami. Then again, he won't be happy. He'll say I'm selling my body or some such crap.

…Shouldn't that lady have gone home by now? She's been standing outside that shop window and pretending to be interested in assorted cheeses for the past ten minutes. How naïve and stupid does she think I am? And to be honest, would someone completely naïve be wearing what I am? I think not!

I sigh weakly and glance at myself in the shiny metal of a parked car. My eyes widen in horror as I see a familiar figure standing behind me in the reflection. I was hoping to get home before anyone I knew saw me! Dear Kami, this is embarrassing!

 "Ryou?! No way! It can't be you!" 

The blond eyed me up from behind and I whirled round in shock

"Don't stare at my ass!" I cried.

"Why not?" He purred. "It's a very, very nice ass. And I really didn't expect you to be going around wearing clothes like that, but they definitely suit you."

I felt myself going red and I glared at him. "I don't normally go round wearing things like this! Yugi and Yami decided to be _charitable_ and take me clothes shopping!" I yelled. "They tried to make me buy a collar as well, but I don't like looking like a dog. No way, there was no way in hell they were going to get me tagged up like a mutt!" I drew in a much needed, shaky breath due to my outburst.

All Malik did was raise an eyebrow at me and shake his head. "Ryou, Ryou. You seem to be a little worked up, my friend." 

I bristled. "You think?! How would you feel if you had to stand here wearing hardly anything and get eyed up by fat, wrinkly hippopotamuses!" 

Yet again, Malik raised an eyebrow. Though this time he looked at me as if I had gone insane. I mentally snorted. That's rich, _he's_ the one insane. Not me.

"I don't know whether you've noticed or not my dear Ryou-chan, but I am wearing similar clothes to you." He smirked as he looked up and down me again. "And due to my extreme good looks, I too get eyed up by 'fat, wrinkly hippopotamuses', as you put it." 

That's true. No, no, about him wearing those clothes! Though I suppose he is kind of sexy. But nowhere near as sexy as my gorgeous Yami. I snorted at him.

"Yes, but you _choose_ to wear things like…that!" I argued, indicating his clothing with a hand. 

"But you've got to admit, I like great in them, don't I?" He leered.

Before I got chance to yell at him again, which I really wanted to, Malik spoke again.  

"What did you mean by them being charitable? Why would you want to go clothes shopping with them anyway?"

Uh oh. I didn't plan on telling him about that. That was why I'd gone shopping with Yugi and Yami, so no one else actually knew. Ack. I'm such a baka. It's not as if I can't go shopping on my own. I just needed some…advice. Not a new wardrobe!

Hmm. I really should be voicing this out loud, shouldn't I?

"Ano…well…I sort of had a little problem, and Yugi seemed the right person to ask." I mumbled quietly.

_Please_ don't ask any more. I don't need him finding out, too. I know Yugi and Yami can keep secrets, but Malik? No way! And he'll tell his Yami, and they're both his friends. I'm doomed! Nothing _ever_ goes right for me.

"What little problem?" He asked.

"Nothing. They didn't help me that much anyway. All they helped me to do was waste my allowance on clothes I don't plan on wearing ever again." I muttered quickly.

"Well since you spent money on all those clothes, it would be a shame not to wear them. You really do look good in them, Ryou. And if I weren't currently involved with someone I'd have jumped you by now." He said with a seductive wink.

I felt myself blushing again. He definitely is a smooth talker, I'll give him that. But he's involved with someone? Since when? Oh! I'll bet I know who it is. They do suit each other, though. Since both of them are totally insane.

"Your Yami?" 

He nodded and for some reason looked at me suspiciously. "What about you, Ryou?"

I blinked. "Nani?"

Malik snorted and rolled his eyes. "Don't play dumb with me. What about your Yami? Yugi and the Pharaoh are together." He stopped a moment to make gagging noises. "I'm with my Yami. Are you interested in yours at all? It would make sense, what with you asking for help from Yugi and all." He asked with a smirk.

Crap!

"What are you talking about? Why would I be interested in my Yami?" 

I must say, I am definitely impressed with my own acting skills. I didn't even blush, either. Maybe I'm all blushed out from the many times Bakura decided it would be fun to use me as a pillow.

Malik eyed me suspiciously and I just stared blankly back. 

My eyes widened in horror and shock. And for a second, I think Malik thought he'd somehow gotten me to confess. He then realized I was staring past him and at the huge creature making her way towards me. Or maybe past me? I hope to all that is good and holy that it's the latter. 

Is the ground shaking? Oh. It's just me. But it wouldn't surprise me if the ground _were_ shaking. It's enormous! No, no. She's enormous, Ryou. She licks her lips as she approaches and I visibly shudder in disgust. Does she know she's now smudged her ugly orange lipstick and it's now smeared on her chin? Well, one of them anyway.

I sigh with extreme relief as she walks past.

I shriek and jump about three feet in the air. I'm not turning round. No. No way. No fucking way. I'm just going to stand here and wait for…MY TAXI! Thank you, Kami-sama, I am eternally grateful!

Malik stares at me as I pick up my bags and raises an eyebrow yet again in a silent question. I just shake my head and mutter, "Ja ne, Malik," before quickly scrambling into my taxi and ordering the driver to take me home.

I breathe deeply and try to calm myself down. I'm going to have nightmares about huge hippopotamuses for the rest of my life. 

Why is the driver staring at me through the rear-view mirror like that? Have I suddenly sprouted another head or something? Oh well. It's not like I'll ever see him again. The reason for that being I'm never stepping foot out of the house once I get home.

I can live off of ordered pizza and Chinese for the rest of my life. Bakura can take up the job of being a hired assassin or something. He's good at killing people. Or maybe he can just steal to earn money? He never seems to get caught, and he does steal some pretty neat stuff. And there's always the money my Dad sends us. He's rarely home so he'll never notice the fact I never leave the house.

To be honest I don't care how I live, as long as I never have to see another huge hippopotamus ever, ever again.

The driver stops and I pay him. He keeps looking at me strangely. Ugh. And his eyes keep leaving my face to…

Oh.

He's checking me out. Well that's just bloody fine and dandy, isn't it?

I quickly scramble out, which is quite hard with shopping bags full of leather pants and small pieces of material that are supposedly clothing people actually _wear,_ in both hands. 

I ran to the door and tried to open it, only to be stopped by the blasted bags in my hands. Cursing in frustration I dropped the bags and finally managed to open the door. I could have cried in joy when I ran into the house and slammed the door shut, throwing the bags to the ground. 

The slamming of the door had caught Bakura's attention and he appeared from the kitchen seconds later. His eyes widened, but I barely noticed. I flung myself at him and he stumbled, preventing us from falling.

"Hikari? What th-"

"SHE GRABBED MY ASS!" I cried in horror and frustration.

I didn't care that I'd flung myself at him. I was trying extremely hard to attack him further by kissing him breathless, though, which is no easy task, believe me. I was merely glad to be safe in my own home, away from the stares of all the people…and hippopotamuses. I'd be especially happy if I got out of these – if they could be called that – clothes.

"She what?!" He growled. "And _who_ exactly are you talking about? Show me who and I'll send that bitch to the Shadow Realm!"

As flattered as I am, there is no way in hell he's getting me to set foot out of this house ever again!

"No, no, no! I'm never going out there again! You can't make me! I can live on ordered food and you can get a job as an assassin, or you can steal things, well, more things. And-"

"Ryou, what the _hell_ are you talking about?" 

I took a deep breath and looked into Bakura's chocolate-coloured eyes. He looked annoyed and…red? 

I blinked. "Bakura? Why is your face all red?"

He opened his mouth and shut it again. He didn't know what to say? Well, that's a first. He let me go and took a step back, looking extremely embarrassed. I tilted my head to the side in confusion. It was then I realized what he was wearing.

"Ryou…" He growled.

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open.

"What the _hell_ are you wearing?!" We said in unison. 

He looked down at his feet and blushed. Aww! That is _so_ cute. Weird, frightening and very, very wrong…but cute. But the fact he was wearing a light blue apron with white frilly things along the edges over his leather pants – though not as tight fitting as _mine_ – and his black wife beater made it even more terrifying. 

His head snapped up and he glared at me. Oops? It wasn't as scary as normal due to his very strange outfit, but I was fearful none the less.

"Why are you dressed up like some sort of prostitute?" He snapped. "No hikari of mine is going around dressed like that!"

He can't tell me what to wear! I don't care if I feel half naked and uncomfortable in these clothes, I'm going to wear them out of spite!  

I glare right back. "I'll wear what I bloody well want! You can't control me and tell me what to do! I'm my own person, Bakura. If I want to go round looking like some kind of whore then I will do! But the hippopotamus thought I looked nice. Hell, so did Malik. So if you'll kindly excuse me. I think I'll go do my homework now."

I turned round to storm up to my room in a dignified manner before a hand on my arm stopped me.

I sighed, hoping it sounded like I was mad. Well, I was slightly angry. But it's not his fault if he's a bit possessive of his things. And yes, I definitely was his. If only _he_ knew that.

"Ryou? I-I"

Yes, say it. Say it! I know you want to!

"I'm sorry."

Aw, nutbunnies. He was supposed to say, 'I love you.' Hmm. I'm definitely going to have to do something about that. Well he _did_ say he was sorry. That amounts to something. I don't think I've ever heard him say those words.

I smiled brightly and hugged him. I'm guessing he didn't expect it because he sort of just stood there at first. Eventually he hugged be back awkwardly.

"Yami? Have you ever actually been hugged before?" I asked, trying to hide my disappointment after he stepped back again.

He stood there with a blank look on his face for a while before he answered. "Not that I remember."

Oh. Blank look + Bakura = Thinking.

"It was mainly just sex. None of that lovey dovey crap." He continued with a smirk.

My mouth falls open and it is taking a huge amount of effort to stop my brain imagining Bakura in that apron, and _only_ that apron. It appears I am not all blushed out because the colour red has come back with a vengeance.

He continues to smirk at me so I decide to get revenge. I wonder where he got it anyway. Did he steal it? I don't remember my Father ever buying one. If he did steal it, he's got some explaining to do. It's not so much the stealing, but _why_ would he want an apron in the first place? 

I smile innocently back at him and the smirk immediately drops. Damn, is my innocent look a give away? "Yamiiii?"

"Hai?" He asks suspiciously.

"Why are you wearing a frilly apron?"

He crosses his arms over his chest and looks at me calmly. Well that ruins my fun.

"I was cooking and I didn't want to get my clothes all messy. So I went out and bought this. Is that all right with you?" He asked sarcastically.

"I just have a few questions. Number one, why on Earth were _you_ cooking? I'm surprised you didn't burn down the whole house! Number two, you _bought_ it? I don't know why you think the appropriate word is bought, but in Japan we calling that stealing, you know." 

He looks down at his feet. I blink as another thought occurred to me.

"Plus, if you were hungry you could have just ordered pizza or something. You always did that before. What's with the sudden desire to become a chef?"

He looked back up, his face slightly flushed.

"I wasn't making food for me." He answered quietly.

"Bakura?" I asked, annoyed. "You weren't burning my things again, were you?"

"What? No! Of course not!" He argued, pouting slightly. "Why would I do that?"

"Well you seemed to enjoy doing it the last time I caught you. And the time before that. And-"

"Okay, okay. I get your point. I didn't do it this time, though." He cut in with a frown.

"Uh…Bakura?" I asked anxiously.

He growled. "What now?!"

"Is black smoke coming from the kitchen a bad thing?"

His eyes widened and he turned and ran into the kitchen. Pretty damned fast, too. 

"No!" He shrieked, his voice going higher than I thought possible. "My muffins!"

********************************************************************************************

And I think I'll end it there… Who was Bakura baking the muffins for? And why the hell would Bakura bake muffins in the first place? It shows he obviously can't cook that well. Or maybe Ryou…distracted him? Hehe. Only Bakura knows! *Cackles*

Oh, and thanks to all the reviewers that told me Weevil's Japanese name is Insector Haga. And also those who told me about McDonald's…which I am currently staying away from! *Shudders*

I think I'm going to try and get over my writer's block for my other fic and get cracking with Chapter 3. 

Anyways, Please review!


	5. Ryou's Diary

Hentai Ryou

By Vada via cretino

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does. I don't own anything because I spent all my money on clothes and a new phone. And you can't have that! It's MINE! *Hisses*

**Warnings: **Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

Sorry! I've been busy with exams and coursework and packing for France. I'm going on Monday! Yayyy! So that's a week without being able to write any more on this. Again I apologize. I've been stuck on what to write forever. -.-;;.

Thanks to:

**Sarina Fannel** – Arigatou! 

**FiRe-AnGeL and Calvin** – I think stunningly is a word? Oh well. I'm glad you think I'm funny. I got weird looks for pointing at the sky and yelling, "They're coming! There's no escape! We're all gonna die! Ahhhh!" in the middle of town. *Laughs all embarrassed like* I wasn't in a right state of mind, okay?

**Yamis Girlfriend** – I try to make it as cute as possible!

**Dia** – Hehe. I'm glad you think it's funny, too. ^_^

**Sailor Comet** – Thanks for correcting me. I agree. Stupid English language. I'm glad you like it.

**phwee? yami hobo** – Hmm. I might just add something to do with Bakura and Elmo in this fic just for you. Who knows? ^_~

**Cat** – I know. Bakura in _anything_ just makes me swoon. In…nothing…even better. *Drools*

**Wolfqueen821** – Hehe. It's okay. As long as you like it.

**Tricks** – Um…okay? *Laughs nervously* Well, more is coming right up!

**Makora** – A glowing toilet seat? Yay! I always wanted one of those! It'd go well with my glowing toilet. ^_^ *Ignores all the weird stares*

**sandra** – I agree. When I first read a Yaoi fic I was like "What the..?" but I love them! I really don't like straight pairs, Yaoi forever! Yay! Yup, it's definitely addictive!

**Satoshi** – Yes McDonald's does suck. So far I have done well in avoiding it. Apparently they're changing the colours from Red to Blue or something? To make it look more 'sophisticated'. *Snorts* I doubt it'll _ever_ look sophisticated.

**Kye** – Thanks! I enjoy writing it, too! Yeah, Bakura and Ryou make the cutest couple. *Starry eyed*

**Ranma Higurashi** – Lol, I don't know what they were. They're all burnt and ruined now. ;_; *Whispers* I would have made them Blueberry for you, but someone else asked if they were chocolate so I'm not saying what they are! 

**Chibi ai** – Hehe. Ryou does seem to be the type of person to bake. Of course. I couldn't leave someone as sexy as Malik out, could I? I'm quite the hentai myself. I'd say something and my friends would stare at me in shock. Actually, a lot of people seem to stare at me when I say stuff. It's quite unnerving. -.-

**darkarc** – Yeah, it's a lovely thing to imagine, isn't it? I even drew Ryou in leather pants with a top that showed his stomach. But he did have a buckle around his neck and a spiked bracelet thing on his wrist. Too bad I don't have a scanner to put it up. *Sniffles*

**Dawn** – I know. Bakura and muffins is a strange combination. And who'd have thought he could bake? Well, he didn't actually do that well considering how they're burnt to a crisp. ^^; 

**Queen of Eternal Darkness** – Thanks for reviewing!

**DogsruleW** – Aww, shucks. *Blushes* I'm flattered!

**Jimbiny Lupin-Wood – **Will do! Thanks for reviewing. ^_^

**VampssAmby10210 – ** I'm quite proud of it, too. It just came out of nowhere.

**Unica** - *Glomps* Omg! Yay! Thank you so much! I can't wait to see it! ^___^ And yes, I am Italian as a matter of fact. Only half Italian, mind you. And Vada via cretino in Italian means something along the lines of 'Get lost jerk'. Hehe. 

**Dark Millenia** – *Shudders* No way! Poor Ryou! I'd never put him through something like that. But…he might just run into her in the near future. *Cackles* Maybe with Bakura near by this time? 

**S. A. Bonasi – **I know that Malik/Yami Malik isn't a pairing that made sense. But my whole fic doesn't make that much sense. Noticed the lack of plot? You're right, it is only a small part of the fic, that is why I didn't bother to explain how or why they got together. Ditto with Yami/Yugi. And I am more in favour of Malik/Ryou pairings, but this is a Bakura/Ryou fic, so that wouldn't work. Besides, it's a fan fiction, it doesn't have to exactly be in sync with the anime or manga. I suppose it would be better if it was, but I don't think it needs to be. Thanks for your opinion, anyhow. Besides, I might actually go into how Malik and Marik get together. It won't necessarily make sense, and they are quite OOC, seeing as they're supposed to hate each other. But I might provide some sort of get-together talk. Your first review did get through, I don't know whether Fanfiction.net showed it but I got it in an e-mail. Anyway, thanks for your review. 

**The Chaotic Ones** – Lol. It took me a long time but I did continue. I'm glad you like it. But fat hippopotami (that's how it's supposed to be spelled *hits herself*) _are_ scary, aren't they? *Shudders*

**Evil Authoress of Doom** – I'm sorry that you'll have to see this…but in this chapter you'll see the poor, mutilated muffins. You might want to look away.

**YamisGal** – Thanks! ^_^

**rogue solus **– Ta da. Updated just for you. ^_~ …And everyone else!  

**Yami Bakura** – It's okay. I'm English and I never make sense. I can't even speak my own language properly. -.- Bakura is an evil little Yami, isn't he? But that's what makes him so sexy. ^_^

**tenshineechan** – Yup. Naughty and perverted and rude. Just the way he should be!

**Escuro de las Lus** – I'm glad my weird sense of humour is appreciated. Ah well, who can say what's weird and what's normal? Not me! I try my best to make the situations funny, and hopefully they'll stay that way throughout the fic. Thanks for your review.

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

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**Chapter 5 – Ryou's Diary**

What a complete and utter moron! Can't he do _anything_ right? Obviously not. Since I've had to open the windows to let out the smoke that is currently inhabited in our kitchen. 

I stared at the tray of smoking gooey stuff and poked one of the soot-black mounds with a finger. I watched it collapse and disintegrate with mild amusement before looking up at my flustered Yami and raising an eyebrow.

"From your shrieking I'm guessing these were supposed to be muffins?"

"Well if you hadn't attached yourself to me they wouldn't have gotten burned!" He snapped, glaring at me.

 I blushed slightly but kept my eyes locked with his. "Well it's not my fault I got eyed up and sexually harassed all the way home, is it?."

His eyes widened in quite a comical way before narrowing in anger. Anger directed at me. I gulped.

"Well if you didn't dress up like a whore then you wouldn't _get_ sexually harassed!" He barked.

I pretended to look hurt, deciding to use my 'innocence'. "So you don't think I look _sexy_?" I asked, adding emphasis to the word 'sexy' to remind him of the embarrassing situation he had put me in days before.

He flushed and opened his mouth to speak but shut it again. I suppressed the giggle. He looked like a fish! It was nice to have control for once. 

I could have sworn his eyes just narrowed for a second. Hey, no fair. He's all calm and collected now. How does he compose himself so easily? Is it some sort tomb robbing necessity? 

"Hai, Ryou. You look very _sexy_." He said, smirking.

I blink. 

What happened there?

"Well, I've made quite a mess." He mumbled, more to himself than me, I think. 

I looked around and scowled. There was flour everywhere. Not to mention what looked like failed muffin mixture attempts. I don't know what possessed me to look upwards. But I did. 

"What the hell is muffin mixture doing on the _ceiling_?!" I shrieked.

Don't get me wrong; I'm like any other teenage boy. I can handle a simple mess. I'm not some sort of neat freak that has to have everything perfect. Just because I don't have underwear and porn magazines strewn about my room it doesn't mean I'm not normal.

The fact I have a blood thirsty, five thousand year old Yami and snowy white hair means I'm not normal.

The kitchen looked like it was the setting for some kind of enchanted winter wonderland. The originally green room was completely white.

My thoughts were interrupted as Bakura snorted. 

\\Hn. How pretty.\\

"There's flour _everywhere_! How did you get muffin mixture on the ceiling and flour everywhere?!" I yelled, choosing to ignore him.

Like I said before, I can handle a simple mess. But this was going too far!

Bakura's rolled his eyes and snorted again. "Neat freak."

"Neat freak?! THE KITCHEN IS A COMPLETE MESS!" I screamed. To further get my point that I was overly pissed into his thick skull, I picked up what once remotely resembled a muffin and threw it directly in his face.

Ha. And Ishinomori-sensei had said I had a poor throw.

My anger seemed to ebb away as he blinked at me. His entire face was covered in black goo and only his dark brown eyes were visible. _His_ anger, however, seemed to flare as a deep growl was emitted from low in his throat. 

Despite the fact I was in deep, deep trouble I laughed at Bakura. 

"You're going to pay!" He yelled, lunging for me.

I squeaked and jumped out of the way, not wanting to get my new, _expensive_ clothes messy. 

"You have to catch me first!" I laughed, running out of the kitchen.

It's more fun running away when I'm not terrified for my life. Though I think I'm supposed to be. 

I suddenly find myself unable to move. Hmm. I don't think that's good. As hard as I try, my body just doesn't want to listen to me.

I heard a sinister chuckle behind me and I rolled my eyes.

"Well now. What can I do with you?" He whispered in my ear.

I squeaked and gulped. I tried to move again, but to no avail. He was now directly behind me. How did he get so close without me noticing?

"I'm a Tomb Robber, baka. I am trained especially to masterfully sneak around without people noticing."

I snorted and lifted my hand to muffle my laughter. "You _were_ a Tomb Robber. And how are a bunch of dead Pharaohs going to be able to tell whether you're there or not?"

I blink and stare at my hand. Well at least my right arm moves.

Bakura snarled and stood directly in front of me. I looked up at him and smiled. Not sinister or evil in any way. Just a simple, polite smile. 

Which means doom for him and he knows it.

I lift my right hand quickly and slap Bakura across his face, causing him to gasp and stumble backwards, clutching his cheek with a hand.

That's what was _supposed_ to happen, anyway. I stared wide-eyed at my hand, which was currently in Bakura's slightly larger one, centimetres from his face. I slowly lifted my gaze to Bakura's to see him smirking sexily at me.

Bastard.

"Tsk, tsk hikari." He scolded, shaking a finger at me with his free hand.

I suddenly burst into laughter, and by the scowl on his face; I don't think that's the reaction he was going for. Hey, it's not my fault he looks so funny with burned muffin all over his face.

He dropped my hand and moved away, much to my disappointment, and sat himself on the couch.

I blinked and walked in front of Bakura, who was _pouting_ – now that's something you don't see, well, _ever_ – and refused to meet my gaze.

"Yami? What's wrong?" 

He mumbled something and lowered his eyes to the floor.

"I'm sorry, but could you speak a little louder?"

"I said they were supposed to be for you!" He growled, his face bright red. 

My Yami got up and stormed past me and into the kitchen. I stood there for a while before his words sunk in.

…They were for me?

They were for me! 

I squealed happily and bounced into the kitchen after Bakura who was now…cleaning?

I quickly got over my momentary shock and jumped at Bakura, hugging him. 

"Arigatou, Bakura-kun!" I chirped.

"What for?" He mumbled, "They were completely ruined."

"Hai, I know. But it's the thought that counts and that was so sweet of you! Arigatou!" 

I looked up at Bakura to see his expression. His face was slightly flushed, but his mouth was turned upwards slightly. My jaw dropped in shock.

Yami no Bakura was smiling!

_Again_!

Twice in one lifetime for Bakura can't be good…can it?

I _then_ noticed the position we were in. I had my arms wrapped tightly around Bakura's waist and we were very, _very_ close. I squeaked and jumped back from Bakura.

I made up some lame excuse about doing homework and ran quickly out of the kitchen and up to my room. That was way too close for comfort. Well, not in a sense I didn't enjoy it, but in the sense I might have done something I would have regretted. I wouldn't have actually regretted it, though…Well, something Bakura would regret me doing….Um, yeah…

"Ryou?"

Ack, I swear he does this stuff on purpose. I scrambled to my desk as quickly as I could and made myself look like I was mulling over a complicated maths equation. Right before he enters my room, too.

"Don't you have some cleaning up to do?" I asked, hinting at him to leave me alone.

He grinned and shook his head, tapping the Millennium Ring with a finger. Pfft. Figures.

"You can use that thing to _clean_?" I ask incredulously, raising an eyebrow.

He blinked a few times before looking at me as if I was stupid and shook his head again.

"I just sent all the flour to the Shadow Realm."

"Oh, okay."

I read a question and quickly wrote the answer down, deciding to actually do work so as not to look suspicious. Though I should have learned by now that ignoring Yami Bakura does not make him go away. It seems to encourage him to stay longer.

"Need any help?" He asked, peering over my shoulder.

"From you? I think Jounouchi would get more answers right." I said, not looking up.

Okay, so that was a bit harsh. But can't he see I'm trying to do my homework? 

Surprisingly, he just sends me a mental shrug and flops on my bed, lying on his stomach, and watches me work. Ack, it's so distracting. I can just feel his eyes boring into the back of my head.

I fidget in annoyance and thankfully he seemed to get the message and decided to look around my room instead. For some reason, Bakura jumped off my bed and lifted up my mattress. My eyes widen as he pulled out a light blue book with "Ryou's Diary" written on the front.

"Hmm, what's this?" he asked 'innocently'.

I jumped up from my chair and leapt at Bakura, trying to get my diary back.

Shit, shit, shit! He can't read my diary! It has personal stuff in there! Hell, it has _perverted_ stuff in there! Personal, perverted stuff about him!

Bakura sidestepped at the last minute, causing me to lose my balance and trip. With a growl, I got up and glared at him.

"Give me it back, Bakura! 

Grinning, Bakura opened the book to the first page and read through some things before sniggering. 

He began reading aloud in a high, squeaky voice. Hmm. I think he's mocking me?

"_I'm such a baka! I was blushing like a fool today. I shouldn't have a crush on my best friend! Baka, baka, baka! …But he's so smart and kind. He's such a bastard to everyone else. But with me Malik laughs and smiles. *Sigh* He's so beautiful, too. He has soft, golden hair that glows and his lavender eyes –"_

With a loud war cry I leapt on Bakura again. Success! He wasn't expecting it this time. Ack, but he'd decided to be an insufferable bastard and refused to let go of my diary.

I can't believe he just read that! It's _so_ embarrassing. At least he didn't see the things later on I wrote about him. But…how did he know my diary was there? He didn't seem to be looking for it; he seemed to know that my diary was under my mattress. But I never even _told_ him that I had a diary. Why would I? Damn it! Stupid Bakura!

In extreme frustration and desperation – can you blame me? – I bit down on Bakura's arm. He let out a pained cry and the diary flew out of his hand and out the window.

I heard a "Hey!" and someone laughing out loud. I got up, ran to the window and looked out.

If I wasn't leaning on the windowsill to peer out the window I'm pretty sure I would have fallen to the floor in disbelief. For down there, on the pavement, with my diary at his feet was none other than Malik himself. Rubbing the bump that was forming on his head, by the looks of it. Marik was stood next to him cackling like the deranged Yami he is. 

The gods truly hate me.

I stood in complete shock and horror as Malik looked down at the offending object lying on the pavement and bent down to pick it up.

"Hey, what's this?"

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Finally! *Dies* Sorry it's not that great but I wanted to get it done before I went to France. Sorry about that crappy little cliff-hanger, but the thought just came to me so I used it. I also wasn't going to put Malik or Marik in this again. But meh, I did. 

Thank you again for all the reviews, you're all really great! ^_^ Keep being great, I like reviews! 

By the way, as you can tell, it was the beginning of his diary, so it was a long time ago that Ryou had a crush on Malik. But can you honestly blame him? …Thought not! 


	6. Enter Demonic Duo

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does. Even though I have quite a bit of money left I refuse to share it with anybody.

**Warnings: **Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

I'm back! Yay! France was great. Even though visiting lots of cemeteries and trenches in the scorching heat wasn't something I would consider 'fun', everything else was great.

Thanks for all your reviews, but because I'm lazy and I have a lot of reviews – over 100!! – it's getting hard to answer to all of them. But thank you, I really appreciate all your comments!

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**Chapter 6 – Enter Demonic Duo**

I ran downstairs in a panic and Bakura followed, though it was harder for him because he couldn't stop laughing. 

What will Malik say if he reads what I put? I don't have a crush on him anymore but I was totally smitten with him about a year ago. 

I gulped. What will _Marik_ say if he reads it? He'll kill me, surely. And I mean that in a literal sense. 

According to Malik he's changed. He only told me the gist of what happened. Marik somehow got back from the Shadow Realm and didn't want to kill anyone anymore. Apparently. Something drastic happened to him in the time he was there that caused him to change. _Apparently_.

I've heard he still sends the random person to the Shadow Realm now and again, though.

…So what makes Malik think he won't try and kill me? 

I haven't seen Marik since Battle City. Malik thought it was best if he stayed out of everyone's way until we got over the whole incident.

Truth be told, though I'm fine around Malik now, the thought of Marik terrifies me.

//That was almost two years ago. Get over it.//

I wish I could. But I guess I'm just a coward at heart. I managed to forgive Bakura and Malik, so forgiving Marik shouldn't be _too_ hard, should it?

…Who am I kidding?

I skidded to a stop at the front door; almost slamming straight into it due to the speed I was running. I opened the door quickly, to find Malik and Marik standing there. I squeaked and jumped backwards in fright, colliding into Bakura.

Well I didn't know it was Bakura, did I? So I – being the oh so brave person that I am – screamed. 

A hand covered my mouth and I was just about to bite down on it, when…

//Baka, shut up! Are you trying to deafen us?!//

Oh. Yeah. Bakura. 

I laughed nervously and bit down on Bakura's hand anyway - revenge purposes - causing him to yelp in pain and move his hand.

//That's twice you've bitten me. You're going to pay for that.//

I discretely stepped away from Bakura and looked over to Malik and Marik and found Malik doubled over in laughter. Marik, though, was just staring at me.

Creepy.

For some reason I couldn't move my eyes from Marik. Ra knows I wanted to. I just couldn't.

His eyes were different. Before they had a crazed, demonic look in them. They were so dark they were almost black. But now they were the exact colour of Malik's. Though he didn't exactly look sane. 

During Battle City he almost constantly wore an arrogant smirk, like he knew something we didn't. Now, though, he was just staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. He looked innocent enough. But I'm no fool. He's Yami no Malik. There's no way in hell he's innocent.

Despite that, he looked almost identical to how I remember him looking. Except now…he – well he looked extremely hot. 

I managed to tear my eyes away from Marik to glance at Bakura. He was staring at Marik. Only he looked somewhat pissed off.

Odd.

I looked towards Malik. He seemed to have composed himself and was staring at me, too. Now I was starting to get extremely paranoid. Was it Stare At Ryou Day or something?

I backed away from the demonic duo and gulped.

Marik grinned and turned to Malik.

"Extremely nervous, isn't he?"

I frowned. I had every reason to be nervous.

Both blondes got far away looks in their eyes and I realized they were talking through their link. I looked over to Bakura to find him _still_ staring at Marik. He looked slightly worried as well as angry now, though. 

Marik nodded and slowly ran his tongue over his upper teeth in quite a – dear Ra I can't believe I'm thinking this – seductive manner. My eyes widened and I continued to back away. 

What were they planning? It was extremely unnerving, whatever it was.

I then remembered that Malik had my diary and I squeaked in alarm. Malik raised an eyebrow and followed where I was looking. He seemed to remember the diary was there and grinned. Malik walked over to me and held out my diary. 

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He was just going to give me it? This wasn't the Malik I knew. Something was definitely going on.

I reached out and grabbed my diary from Malik, clutching it to my chest. 

Maybe Malik was being nice and just decided to give me my diary out of, uh, niceness?

Malik grinned. "It's alright, Ryou. I had a crush on you as well."

My jaw dropped open in shock. "Wh- what? You read my diary?!"

Malik looked at me in what he must have thought was an innocent look. 

"Well it was just lying there on the pavement. Who wouldn't read it?"

I just stared at him, wide-eyed and I could just feel the heat of the blush. Malik might as well have just thrown red paint all over my face. No one would have been able to tell the difference.

I looked over to Marik to find him _still_ staring at me. He didn't _seem_ pissed off, especially of the idea of me having a crush on his hikari and _boyfriend_. Not to mention the fact Malik said he had a crush on me as well. That was unexpected.

No, he wasn't pissed off at all.

He was just… staring.

And I think I was staring back.

Bakura growled and all attention turned to him. He seemed un-phased by it and folded his arms across his chest.

"What the hell are you two doing here?"

Marik smiled, flashing his sharp canines. I shuddered. "To see Ry–" Malik elbowed him in the ribs.

"To see you two, of course." Malik corrected, smiling sweetly at Bakura.

I raised a sceptical eyebrow as Marik rubbed his ribs, casting a scowl at Malik.

"Right, Marik?"

Marik continued to scowl but nodded anyway.

"Well go away." Bakura growled, glaring at them both.

"Bakura!" I scolded, "That's no way to talk to people." I turned to Marik and Malik and smiled wearily. "You can stay if you want."

I just know I'm going to regret this. And by the look on Bakura's face he's going to make me regret this. 

Malik nodded and clapped his hands gleefully. The last time he did that half the school was burned down.

I motioned for the demonic duo to follow me and walked into the kitchen.

I noticed Bakura enter as well, obviously not trusting Malik and Marik enough to leave them alone with me. Why do people lean against walls anyway? There are perfectly good chairs in here.

I sat down at the table and eyed the blondes as they joined me. "So why are you here?"

Malik and Marik shared knowing looks before turning to me and grinning in that extremely sexy-yet-terrifying way.

"We have a proposition to make." 

//Don't be getting any ideas.//

I blinked. /What are you talking about?/

//Don't play innocent with me. I don't want you associating in any activities with those two.// Bakura growled.

What was he talking about? Activities? I don't…oh. _Oh._

/You pervert! Why would I want to do that?/

//And I quote, "_Sometimes while I'm talking to him I start to daydream. About us. You know…doing things. I feel as though I could just pin him down and _–"__

/Yami!/ I cried, horrified, /Just how much of my diary have you read?!/

I could feel the mental smirk through our link. //Enough.//

Oh no. What the hell did _that_ mean? 

A tanned hand waved in front of my face and I jumped, almost falling off my chair. Marik snickered while Malik raised an eyebrow.

"What were you and Bakura discussing?"

I looked over at Bakura and scowled. "Nothing."

Malik shrugged. "Anyway, as I was saying, Marik and I have a proposition to make." 

Marik opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, but turned to Bakura and smirked. "We'd appreciate it if you weren't here."

I could feel the anger rising through our link, but outwardly Bakura appeared calm. I couldn't help but feel satisfaction. My Yami hated being kept in the dark. He liked to be in control of situations.

"And why the hell not?"

Marik turned back to me and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. I flinched and moved back in my chair, but he either didn't notice or didn't care. "Because our proposition is to do with Ryou, and Ryou only."

Malik smirked and nodded. 

But it seemed as though Bakura had other plans.

"I don't give a shit. Either leave or discuss it with me here."

I pouted. "But Yami, they just got here! Besides, I want to know what they're going to ask."

Bakura glared at me. "You can find out what they're going to ask. But I'm going to find out as well."

I can _not_ believe this. Why does he have to be such a stubborn asshole? Just because he's my Yami, it does not mean he can rule over me. 

I sighed and looked at the demonic duo apologetically. Both seemed un-phased and winked at me. 

I sensed Bakura's curiosity through our link, well he wasn't the only confused one. 

Malik got up and left the kitchen, but Marik leaned further forward and whispered in my ear. "Our work here is done. Don't worry, we can talk to you about this another time."

I just sat, dazed, and watched Marik walk out of the kitchen and to the front door where Malik was waiting. 

"You're right. He _does_ look a lot better with those clothes on. Too bad Bakura had to spoil our fun. Maybe we can –" I couldn't hear anymore as the front door closed.

I'm not sure whether that was Malik or Marik, but I blushed all the same. 

"What did that deranged Yami say to you?" Bakura growled, as he advanced on me.

I looked at him and tilted my head thoughtfully. "I don't think you're supposed to know."

"Ryou…" he said warningly. 

"Well you're not. I don't see why I have to tell you." I sniffled dramatically. "You're so mean to me. It's because of you they had to leave."

Bakura's expression softened slightly, but I could still feel a really strong emotion I couldn't decipher. Jealousy? Anger?

"It's for your own safety Ryou. Who knows what they could have done to you?"

My mouth was trying really hard to break into a smile, but I forbade it. I was trying to be angry and upset with him. He just had to go all protective, caring Yami on me, didn't he?

I sighed. "It doesn't really matter what he said. I don't even know what he meant. Why do you care anyway?"

It seemed he wasn't expecting that question and stopped in his tracks. "Uh…"

Aha! I had him now. I got up and stood in front of him – diary forgotten and on the table – determined.  

"I mean," I continued, "you seem threatened by their presence for Ra knows why, you kick them out for wanting to tell me something, yet you give no justified reason for doing so." 

I was trying hard not to smirk. Instead I widened my eyes slightly and looked up at him from under my lashes. "Why?"

"I, uh…well…" Bakura stammered, his cheeks slightly pink.

Sometimes being cute and girly has its advantages. But I was starting to get slightly impatient.

"Bakura," I said softly, "It's not that hard of a question."

I hope I managed to keep the irritation out of my voice, but he's just stood there like a fish out of water and I want an answer, dammit.

"I care, all right?" Bakura snapped.

No it's not all right. What kind of answer was that? Of course he cares. He's my Yami. He may be a homicidal maniac, but I already knew that he at least likes me. That was not what I wanted to hear. 

Deciding to drop it, I sighed and shook my head, walking passed Bakura and to the fridge. I opened it and crouched down, searching for something to eat. 

/Yami? Would you like something to eat or aren't you hungry?/

Hmm, there's nothing in the fridge and I'm _not_ going outside, so looks like it's ordered pizza. 

I then noticed that Bakura hadn't responded.

/Yami?/

Silence.

Annoyed, I turned to where Bakura was previously standing…only to find he wasn't there. I blinked, then shrugged and shut the fridge door. 

I turned around to come face to face with Bakura. Literally. I gasped and jumped backwards, bumping into the fridge.

"Yami! You scared me!" I cried, putting a hand to my racing heart. 

Bakura just stared at me, his dark eyes strangely intense behind silver bangs. He took a step forward. 

"Y-yami..?" 

I tried to retreat but the damned fridge was in the way. There's no way out. What the hell is he doing?

Bakura took another step towards me and he was now very close. Too close. I could feel his warm breath on my face. I can't help but wonder what's going through his mind, but he's blocked the link. 

Bakura reached his hand out cupped my face. He gently slid his thumb down my cheek and left it hovering at my lips for a second. Bakura slowly dipped his head towards mine and I closed my eyes.

Dear Ra, I think he's going to kiss me!

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Muahaha! I think I'll leave it there! ^_^ Gomen, it took me longer to write this than I thought it would. What were Marik and Malik planning, I wonder? *Smirk* Don't worry, it's all for Bakura and Ryou's welfare. Hmm, Bakura seemed to get a teensy bit jealous when they showed interest in Ryou. *Cackles* Ah, the spiteful, bitter Bakura we know and love! Except to Ryou, of course.

Well, what do you think? Review, onegai! Ja ne. ^_~


	7. Revenge

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera. 

**Warnings: **Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

I hope this update was quicker than the last one. I got a sudden case of insomnia and I COULD NOT sleep. _ It was so annoying! So I stayed up all night drawing and writing this chapter in my little notebook thing since I was kicked off the computer at 2.30am. .;

I also got an idea for a new ficcie. Yay! But I'm not going to put it up. I've barely started it, not to mention a lot of others, but I have my other ficcies to complete first.

A message to Unica. I love your fan art for this ficcie! It's so cool! Arigatou! ^_____^ For anyone who hasn't seen it, the link's on my bio!

Once again, thanks to all your lovely reviews! You all rock! Whoo! ^^;

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**Chapter 6 – Revenge**

He's really going to kiss me!

…

Any minute now.

…

…

I cracked an eye open in irritation. The other followed suit as I realized Bakura wasn't even standing in front of me anymore. He was lying in a heap on the floor.

He fainted?!

What the hell?!

I scowled at his unconscious form and crouched down. I watched his chest rise and fall slightly and huffed. So he wasn't dead. Good. It gave me the chance to kill him personally.

How could he just faint like that? Argh! I don't understand. He's a Yami. Yami's don't faint! …Do they?

/Yami!/

//…//

Nothing. I can't feel anything from him through the link and I know he hasn't blocked it.

A light bulb suddenly lit up in my head and I got to my feet.

The Ishtars! Now he's unconscious I can see what they wanted. Though it would have been much better if he _had_ kissed me but oh well, what can you do?

Hmm, it's going to be hard for me to move him up to his room, brute strength not being one of my strong points. I doubt I'd even be able to lift him onto the couch in the living room.

I could easily drag him across the floor…but that might wake him up.

Maybe I'll just leave him there…?

"Need a hand?"

I jumped and stared wide-eyed at none other than Malik and Marik standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

Malik smirked as he and Marik took a step forward, looking down and regarding Bakura's unconscious form with an indifferent look, not seeming surprised in the least.

I'll kill them!

"What did you do?" I asked, surprising myself at how calm I sounded, considering I was trying to remember where Bakura kept his knife.

Marik and Malik blinked simultaneously before looking at each other questioningly and then back at me, both putting fingers to their chests.

Those two are really, really creepy together.

"Yes you! What the hell did you do to Bakura?!" This time my voice had risen slightly.

Marik just smirked while Malik rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. 

"Well…we sedated him…" He said quietly.

"You WHAT?"

"We–" 

"I know what you said!" I snapped. "How?! Why?!"

"Well when Marik was whispering to you, I managed to quickly prick him as I walked past. He was too busy glaring at the back of Marik's head to notice." He explained, smirking.

"But why? HE WAS GOING TO KISS ME YOU DAMNED EGYPTIAN IDIOT!"

"Because – wait a minute, you said you weren't interested in your Yami." He said in an accusing tone, narrowing his eyes.

"Don't change the subject!" I snapped, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. Damn my fair complexion. "Tell me why!"

"We knew he was going to kiss you." Marik said, grinning.

I blinked and drew my eyebrows together in confusion. "How did you know?"

Malik matched his Yami's grin and pulled something out of his pocket. My eyes widened as I realized what that something was.

"The Millennium Necklace!" I gasped.

Malik nodded, still grinning, before putting it back.

"You stole it from Isis?!"

"Nah. I prefer the terminology 'borrowed'. Stole makes us sound like common thieves." He said with an indignant snort. "Besides, she must have known we were going to borrow it, so she obviously doesn't mind."

Good point. That woman is freaky beyond words.

Wait, we're getting off track here! Bakura was going to kiss me…they knew…so they _stopped it happening_?!

My eyes must have narrowed or darkened or something because Malik hastily said:

"Wait! We had good intentions! I know that look in your eyes and it means bad and painful things for me."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a huge headache coming on. "The last time you had 'good intentions' I was kept in a cell overnight for harassing an officer." I muttered darkly.

"Hey," he whined, "That was a low blow. You know I didn't mean for you to get the blame."

I glared at Malik, and then glanced down at Bakura who was lying on his side, sucking his thumb. I shuddered and turned away. I never want to see that again. It's just degrading for Bakura and totally wrong in every possible way.

"Let's go to the living room and discuss this civilly." Malik said, eyeing me as if I were going to leap for his throat any second.

Believe me, I was considering it.

I snorted to myself at the word civilly but followed them to the living room and sat at the armchair opposite the couch.

I glanced towards the kitchen. "What if Bakura wakes up?" I asked, feeling a pang of jealousy as Marik slid an arm around Malik's waist and Malik leaned in to his Yami.

"He'll be pissed." Marik stated matter-off-factly.

I rolled my eyes. I then remembered… "My diary! I left it in there with him!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening.

Malik wave a hand dismissively. "It's okay. He's read it already."

He's…read…it…already?

"WHAT?!"

Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod Omigod!!!!

"Calm down, Ryou!" Malik hissed. "That's why we came to talk to you. _That's_ why we stopped the kiss."

Marik nodded his head solemnly.

I felt a surge of anger hit me as I remembered the events of the past week, He had played with me, toyed with me, knowing damn well how I felt. He might not even feel the same way. He probably thinks it's fun to mess with my emotions and use my body.

My eyes widened as I remembered some of the more…x-rated…things I had written.

…All of it. He had read all of it. The only thing I could keep from him, the only privacy I ever got and he fucking read it!

"Ready for revenge?" Malik purred, his eyes gleaming in a mischief that was mirrored his Yami's eyes and I'm sure in my own as well.

Oh hell yes, I was definitely ready.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bakura moaned and stumbled into the living room where I was casually flicking through the T.V channels.

"What the fuck happened?" Bakura groaned, rubbing his head. "Why do I feel like shit?"

"I don't know, Yami." I answered simply, not sparing him a glance as I continued to flick through the usual T.V crap.

I couldn't see his face but I could tell he was frowning due to the irritation that flitted through our link.

"One minute I was – we were…and the next…" Bakura stammered, confusion and embarrassment lacing his words.

I really wish I could see his face now, I bet he's blushing. He's pretty when he blushes. His skin – no. Stop thinking like that. If he hears your thoughts you're done.

Though it's not like he hasn't read my thoughts before. I smirked slightly. Only now I could tell when he did it. Marik had taught me how to sense Bakura's presence in my mind. It's like a slight mental pull that –

"What are you smirking at?"

Uh oh.

"Oh, just what's on T.V." I said calmly, noticing that Bakura now sat next to me on the couch.

Bakura's eyebrows shot up as he looked at the T.V, then back at me, with the same incredulous expression on his handsome face.

"You think _Elmo_ is something to smirk at?" He asked slowly.

"Hai," I answered, the same neutral expression on my face as I cringed inwardly at my stupidity.

I felt a small mental tug and realized Bakura was trying to read my thoughts.

I discreetly shoved him from my mind, blocking my thoughts while keeping the link open to avoid any suspicion.

"I don't know about you, but I'm starved!" I chirped, making Bakura jump slightly. "I'm going to order pizza."

I quickly got up and made my way to the phone. I dialled the number Bakura had drilled into my memory. "The best fucking pizza ever" apparently. Tasted ordinary to me.

//Pepperoni, hikari.//

/But I wanted Ham and Pineapple./

//Ick. I don't like Pineapple.// He whined.

/Pick it off, then./

//Demo– // I cut off the link.

"Hello. Hai, Ryou Bakura speaking. Iie, not the usual. Ham and Pineapple, onegai. Arigatou. 30 minutes? Okay, bye."

I turned around to see Bakura leaning against the doorframe, glaring at me.

"I pay for the pizza, Yami. I get to choose what we eat. Deal with it." I snapped as he opened his mouth to speak.

Bakura blinked, taken aback for a few seconds before he scowled. "I was _going_ to say that I wanted fries with it, too."

"Well why didn't you say so earlier?!"

Bakura narrowed his eyes. "Because _someone_ closed the link."

"Oh, and I suppose it was too hard for you to get off your lazy ass and tell me face to face?!" I spat.

Bakura actually looked hurt. I didn't insult him too badly, one time I called him a stupid bastard and he shrugged coyly and said, "I try." So why does he look…upset? Was he playing some kind of game with me again or what?

"Ryou?" He asked softly.

I blinked at his tone and looked him in the eyes. Big mistake. They're all pretty and smouldering and they make my knees go weak and my insides do flip-flops. What's worse is that his eyes are warm and gentle. I've _never_ seen them like that before.

"What's wrong?"

I blinked as the words registered in my mind. He was asking me what was wrong? I had snapped at him. Ack, it's like some sort of weird personality switch. 

I blinked again and cocked my head to the side slightly. "Why wouldn't I  be?"

Bakura huffed in annoyance. "I don't think I'll ever understand you. One minute you're yelling at me and the next you're acting as if nothing happened."

I sighed, chewing on my lower lip slightly as I lowered my gaze to the floor. "Gomen nasai, Yami. It's just I – well…I'm confused about something. My thoughts and emotions are a mess. Don't take it personally." I lifted my head, smiling at him tentatively to show him I was all right.

Bakura's gaze softened and he nodded. What happened next totally took me by surprise. He closed the gap between us and _hugged_ me. I stiffened on instinct before relaxing and hugging him back. Bakura pulled back, hands on my shoulders to look me in the eye. 

"You know you can always talk to me if something's wrong, okay, aibou?"

I nodded, flushing under his intense stare. Satisfied with the answer, he let go of my shoulders. When I giggled he lifted an eyebrow.

"Yami…your worst nightmare has come true." I whispered, as if it were some kind of crime. I don't doubt it was something of a promise he made to himself to _never_ happen.

When the eyebrow remained raised I realized he wanted me to continue.

"You're turning into Yami Yugi."

Bakura let out a rather girlish shriek and ran upstairs, no doubt to the bathroom to wash himself clean or something.

Sure the coast was clear, I smirked. My Yami now knew of my 'emotional problems'. He'd probably think they concerned him. But when he finds a little piece of evidence to prove otherwise I wonder how he'll react. Giggling to myself out loud I went to the kitchen to fetch my diary. Realizing I was still giggling I forced myself to stop, deciding I'd been spending way too much time around Malik.

I almost ran upstairs, jumping two stairs at a time as I rushed to my room, diary in hand. Sitting myself down at my desk I got out a pen, skipping through my diary to find a new page. 

As I absently chewed the lid of the pen out of habit, I tried to think how to start. Grinning, I put the pen to paper and started the next phase of The Plan.

_Dear Diary…_

***********************************************************************************************

Oh, when Ryou is jealous it's not cause he likes Marik and Malik. *shakes head* He's jealous because he wants that with Bakura. Bless him.

Good? Bad? Review?  ^_^


	8. Leather and pizza don't mix

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera. 

**Warnings: **Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

I'm SO sorry! Don't kill me! I just kind of got…delayed? And so I just didn't get off my lazy butt and update quick enough. _ 

Anyway, thanks to all you people that have reviewed! I really, truly, love you all! Over 200 reviews?! *Wipes away a tear* Yay! I feel so appreciated.

I hope you noticed the message I put out to you last chapter, Unica. Though it appears you didn't. =/ Oh well, hopefully you can see it now? **THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAN ART YOU ARE TRULY GREAT! **^^

A special message to Celes-chan and Jess-chan, you are both brilliant people and I love you both! So this chapter is dedicated to the two of you! ^____^ Enjoy!

***************************************************************************************************

**Chapter 8 – Leather and pizza don't mix**

_Dear diary,_

_I'm so confused! @.@ You know how I've been babbling about Bakura lately? You know, the little fact that I love him and worship the ground he walks upon?_

_Uh huh, that._

_Well…I'm having doubts. Oh no, I love him. Of course I do. But…is it just platonic? Maybe I see him as more as a brother? When I thought I was **in** love with him, I might have just been attracted by his good looks. I mean, maybe my hormones are running rampage or something? _

_What brought this about, I hear you ask? _

_Well, you see…I've been thinking about Malik a lot lately. …I think I've got another crush on him. I know, I know! Not **again**. . But he's so sexy, kind, smart, even his sadistic side is a turn on. I could just eat him right up. _

_And that Yami of his – Marik, is equally as sexy. At least now I wouldn't have to worry about him murdering me. And by Ra, does he have an ass!_

_Anyway, they are dating, which you'd think would upset me, right diary? Well it did at first, but guess **what**?! They actually came to me and asked me if I wanted to be a part of their relationship! ^____^ _

_…But…I don't really want to interfere and be a third wheel, you know? So that's why I've decided to think it over. _

_They've given me a week.  _

_I really wish I could talk to someone about this. But Yugi-tachi wouldn't understand. They all seem to hate Marik and Malik. Well, either that or dislike them with a passion. Though I'm not sure they all know Marik's alive. If they found out by me asking for advice about having a three-way relationship with him and Malik…well, expect lots of chaos and panicking. _

_Also, what would Yami and Yugi say? It was only **today** that I had asked Yugi's opinion on Bakura. Though Yugi's methods were a little unorthodox…And if I tell them about my new feelings I think they'll be angry. _(AN: I was going to put "If I tell them about my change of heart" but…no. ) _Yami had a hard time accepting the fact of Bakura, though I think they already knew about that. So what of Marik and Malik? _

_No, I can't talk to them about this._

_What about Bakura? I don't think he knows of my feelings…or my old ones, anyway, so he wouldn't be bothered about that. But for some reason he seems to have a sudden dislike for Marik and Malik. I'm sure they were friends before. Bakura even used to go round to their house to think up ways to make trouble. I don't understand why he won't even let them in my house anymore. _

_Like I said, I'm so confused! Argh!_

_Oh well, the pizza's here. Talk to you soon, diary._

I read through it quickly, grinning, and nodded my satisfaction. I signed my name after the entry. It's just a habit I have in hopes of becoming famous through my writing. I can see it now, on the bookshelves, the diaries of Anne Frank, Samuel Pepys, Kenneth Tynan and Ryou Bakura*. 

I think this whole plotting thing has gone to my head. I'm becoming delusional. 

Practically skipping down the stairs, I noticed that Bakura still hadn't appeared. Shrugging mentally, I opened the door, paid for the pizza and carried it into the living room. 

I opened the box and almost screamed in annoyance. The bastard must have re-phoned them and asked for Pepperoni instead. 

/YAMI!/

A smirk was sent to me mentally and I scowled as my response.

/You're not having any, you know./ I said, smiling smugly.

I heard heavy footsteps as Bakura thundered down the stairs. When he stood in the doorway he looked…angry.

Bakura made it appear as though I had stolen all his Shadow abilities, rid the world of weapons and forced him to be nice to Yami Yugi.

"Why the hell not?" He growled, his eyes flashing menacingly.

"Yami, honestly, it's just pizza. Why are you so angry?" I said calmly, raising an eyebrow at him.

Bakura's faced was flushed with anger, his coffee eyes were darker than usual, they almost looked black. When he stepped forward I could make out emotions swirling in those shadowy eyes I love so much. There was anger -  that was the main emotion. But I knew he was putting up a front. He's not the only one who can read people. I just don't use their minds. Behind that wall of anger was hurt and betrayal.

Oh dear, has he read my diary already? There's no way he'd be so upset over a pizza. Come on, even Jounouchi-kun wouldn't be that upset. Ack, now I feel bad. Just great. 

Well I'll have to go on with it despite everything. I just hope Bakura doesn't lose hope and just give up on me. I don't know what I'd do if that happens. But if I know Bakura he'll do everything in his power to 'win me back', so to speak. He's definitely stubborn. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Bakura's hands clenched into fists as he took another step forward. His body was trembling in anger and I suddenly felt afraid. What was he going to do?

"Yami…?" I asked meekly.

I felt Bakura sloppily reading my mind, I guess the anger removed any tact and subtlety he had. Even if Marik hadn't taught me to guard my thoughts and be aware when Bakura tried to read them, I would have known _something_ was up. I blocked my thoughts and looked up at Bakura, whose shaking had ceased and his face had returned to normal, but he still looked very, very pissed.

If Bakura ever found out about Marik and Malik's plan I'd seriously worry for their safety.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Bakura snapped, now standing directly in front of me.

I bit my lip in fear and pain, the heat from the pizza box on my lap now becoming more than slightly uncomfortable. Now what do I say? Marik gave me an excuse but I simply can't remember what it was…

"I…well…"

Think, Ryou, think! Wait…why does he even need to know? My thoughts are my own, not his! Determined with my reasoning, I looked into Bakura's eyes firmly.

"Why do you need to know?" 

Bakura's eyes widened before he put up a mask of indifference. The only give-away of his anger and pain were his eyes that seemed to glow in their intensity.

"Because I'm your Yami." He said simply.

I bristled. "So that gives you the right to look into my mind?! What if I don't _want_ you to see into my thoughts?!"

"Why wouldn't you?" His voice was eerily quiet, but his eyes were still ablaze. 

"Because they are _my_ thoughts, Yami. Mine. Not yours. You wouldn't like it if I tried to see what was in your head, would you?"

Bakura made no movements, he just looked directly into my eyes. Searching. Was he trying to look into my mind through my eyes like the many times I had done to him? Luckily, I had learned to control my emotions outwardly. Though that was his fault…but I don't like dwelling in the past. It depresses me, and I'm a happy-go-lucky kind of person, being depressed doesn't suit me at all according to Yugi-kun.

"That's different." Bakura said finally.

I sighed. In no way was it different. What did Yami have to hide? Maybe some sort of plot to kill Yami Yugi? Though those always have their faults. Bakura once got so desperate he even went as far as trying to convince me to pretend to be kidnapped. I eventually went on with it, but one stamp on his foot and a good yell made him come home sulking. 

I jumped when I felt a hand on my leg. Or, more specifically, my thigh. I blinked and creased my brows in confusion as I peered down at the pale hand. I trailed my eyes along his hand, up and across his arm and eventually up his neck and to his face. 

I took hold of his hand and carefully placed it back in his lap. I edged away from him slightly and raised an eyebrow.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, barely managing to keep the trembling from my voice. 

"You were in a world of your own, I was just getting your attention." Bakura said, the ordinary tone back in his voice.

I breathed a silent breath in relief. So he _wasn't_ coming on to me. Good. Ack, but it's bad! Though…it's good for the plan, I suppose… 

"Yes, but you went into my personal space." I snapped, pretending to be annoyed to cover my embarrassment. "You just don't go into the bubble like that, Yami!"

Bakura raised a white eyebrow with a piece of pizza in his mouth.

Wait…pizza…?

I huffed when I noticed the pizza box was no longer on my lap, rather in Bakura's lap. He had actually opened the box and was _eating_ the pizza. 

"Bubble?" He asked in confusion, his voice muffled and full of food.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust and flicked a piece of pepperoni that had flown out of his mouth off of my face. 

"Yes, my personal bubble! You know?!"

Bakura continued to stare at me blankly as he chewed his pizza. Sighing in frustration, I snatched the pizza box back and placed it on the other side of me, where he couldn't reach. I grabbed myself a piece and ate it silently, watching the T.V. screen Bakura must have turned on. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bakura's hand slowly reach over my lap and for the pizza. Smiling in amusement at the concentrated look on his face, I slapped his hand away. 

"Losing your touch, Yami?" I asked, turning to him and smirking.

Bakura pouted, folding his arms across his chest and slumping back in his seat. I bit into my second piece of pizza, closing my eyes in fake ecstasy. "Mmm." I moaned, teasing Bakura. "This is _so _good." I licked my lips to further annoy Bakura.

Expecting to get a light smack upside the head or a growl or something, I was surprised to get no reaction. Nothing. At all. I opened my eyes, swivelling them to look at Bakura. 

…To find him less than an inch from my face.

I squeaked in surprise and jumped off the couch. Bakura stared at me for a second before blinking and shaking his head rapidly. He grinned as he leaned over and stole a piece of pizza from right under my nose. Bakura stuck his tongue out before shoving half of it in his mouth.

I scowled. So _that_ was his plan all along. Damn him. That was _so_ unfair.

"Cheater." I mumbled, reaching for the pizza box. 

Bakura had other ideas and snatched it, putting it on his lap.

"If you want it, come and get it." He taunted, eyeing me in a strange way.

My eyes widened and I flushed in embarrassment. "I am _not_ getting it from…there!" I squeaked, horrified by the idea.

Hopefully Bakura will think that because of my 'naivety' and 'innocence' the idea is totally absurd. But no, I would love to get the box from his lap. Well…how bad can it be? I'll just be taking it from his lap…

"No pizza for you, then." Bakura smirked.

I glowered, determined to get _my_ pizza back. I edged cautiously forward, slowly reaching my hand out. So close…if I just reach a bit further…

Bakura suddenly grabbed my hand, pulling me into his lap. 

"Yami!" I yelled, trying to get off his lap. I grimaced as I realized I was sat on the pizza. Whether Bakura knew this or not – I'll bet he did, the bastard – he didn't let it show. He just smirked at me, obviously proud of getting me on his lap for Ra-knows-why.

I continued to push against him with my hands on his shoulders. But Bakura had his arms firmly locked around my waist and would not let go.

"Bakuraaaa…" I whined, "I'm sat on the pizza! Now these leather pants are all messy!"

"That's okay, Ryou," he purred, "I'll lick it off for you."

I suddenly stopped moving and stared at Bakura, his intense orbs boring back into my wide ones. I paled as all the blood drained from my face. Did he just say what I think he did…?

"Yami?" I asked timidly, "Could you…uh…repeat that?" 

"I said I'll lick it off for you." He repeated, eyeing me as if I were stupid.

The blood returned my face full-force. I squirmed and tried to get off his lap again but Bakura refused to let me go. 

"Yami," I pleaded, slightly worried now. 

What did he mean by that? Would he lick the pizza off the leather pants with me _wearing_ them…or without me in them? It didn't make sense either way. Why would he want to do that? …Unless he's toying with me again.

"Don't do that," Bakura growled, but his voice sounded strained.

"Well then let me go!" I whined.

I could feel the pizza beneath my ass. It was all squishy and icky. I didn't like the feeling at all. 

"I like you right where you are," Bakura purred, licking his lips.

I gulped. What did he mean? He doesn't like me that way…does he? No. He can't. He's just playing with me, using me for my body. I don't know why, though. I'm a skinny little thing. 

"Wha…what do you mean?" I asked, refusing to look him in the eye.

Bakura snorted and grabbed my chin forcefully but not painfully with a hand. "Are you _that_ stupid, hikari?"

With one of his hands removed from around my waist I found my chance. I pushed against him and got up, rushing out of the room and up the stairs. 

I pulled off my leather pants and grimaced, throwing them to the floor for the time being. Sitting on my bed, I could feel my body trembling still. I frowned at myself. Am I so pathetic that a simple encounter like that would leave me trembling like a little girl? 

I had to be more forceful. Bakura could have kissed me!

I blinked slowly as realization crept in. That was a _good_ thing, dammit. But…what if he _was_ just using me? I couldn't handle that. 

I sighed thoughtfully as I contemplated the other side to the coin. What if he _did_ really care for me. Yami Yugi cared for his hikari, Marik cared for Malik after all the things the pair had been through…so could Bakura care for me? 

Bakura was always someone who found it hard to express his emotions. It took a hell of a lot to get him to simply apologize, so getting him to confess would definitely be a rare occurrence. Bakura had one week to prove himself to me. To show whether he was serious or whether he was just taking me for a fool.

Bakura had seven days. Seven days to convince me to love him and not Malik and Marik, at least that's what he thought. And if sexual advances were how he was going to do it…

Well I wasn't about to stop him.


	9. Seduction can wait another day

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera.

Warnings: Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

Sorry, sorry, a thousand times sorry! I haven't updated in…*counts* OH MY GOD! …Er…*coughs*…a very long time? ^^;; I really am sorry! It's just I've been REALLY busy lately! My lazy nature might also have something to do with it…but I'm sorry okay?! *burst into tears* …Not buying it, huh? … *meekly* Did I mention I was sorry? Well anyway, here it is, the chapter you've been waiting–

Yami: A very long time for?

…*Shoves Yami back into her other fic* Hush you. ; Um, Bakura might be slightly nicer than normal in this, but love makes you act strangely, ne? 

Yami: *Reappears* Unlike you, who is strange pretty much _all_ the time.

…I refuse to rise to that. Anyway, this is more fluffy and less schemey, with the odd bit of perversion, of course. ^_~. Enjoy.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

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Chapter 9 – Seduction can wait another day 

Yawning, I sat up and glanced at the alarm clock. Groaning in protest, I slumped back down and pulled the covers over my head. 

//Aibou! Rise and shine!//

Scowling, I blocked off the link and turned over, burrowing deeper into the warmth of the bed.

"HIKARIIIII, GET UP!" Came the shout from downstairs. 

Growling in irritation, I pulled the pillow out from under my head and placed it on top in hopes of drowning out the sounds of my ever-persistent Yami. For a short while nothing happened, and I sighed in contentment, thinking Bakura had decided to let me sleep.

"FOR RA'S SAKE GET UP YOU MORON!"

I realized with despair that pillows muffle absolutely no sound at all. 

I squeaked in surprise when the sheets were pulled off of me and the pillow removed from above my head. Rolling over and blinking my eyes wearily, I noticed Bakura grinning at the side of my bed, obviously proud of making me uncomfortable.

Narrowing my eyes, I growled low in my throat. Bakura continued to grin, evidently staying right where he was.

"What did you do that for?" I mumbled, my voice groggy from sleep.

Bakura shrugged. "It's time to get up."

I took another look at the alarm clock, keeping my expression purposely blank. I quickly picked it up and threw it at Bakura, hitting him in the head. 

"LOOK AT THAT! SEE IT? DO YOU SEE WHAT TIME IT IS?! IT'S TOO EARLY!" I yelled, the last two words louder than the rest of my sentence.

Hmm, my father _did_ once say something about me not being a morning person…

Bakura rubbed his head, annoyance flitting across his face. The annoyance quickly melted away and a blank look took its place. (A/N: He's thinking, remember! ^^;)

"I guess I really have had a bad affect on you." Bakura admitted ruefully. "I thought the idiotic Pharaoh was just saying that to annoy me."

I scowled, glaring daggers at Bakura, hoping to mentally blow up that pretty face of his. He woke me up at _7_ in the _morning_ for no reason _what so ever_?! Sometimes I wonder just _what_ I see in him.

It's _then I remember that he's extremely good-looking, psychotic in that ever-sexy way, enjoys flirting with me and has a very nice ass. He may act foolish and stupid at times but he really is quite intelligent. Not overly so, because he would have seen right through The Plan, and that would __not be good. He also has a sense of humour, it's somewhat sadistic I'll admit, but at least he's not some boring person with no personality._

Odd. The name Honda comes to mind…

So when I look at it _that_ way, I feel quite lucky to have a Yami like Bakura. I don't know how I'd live without him. Alone most likely…

I'm suddenly not so angry anymore. I smile stupidly at Bakura, who now looks extremely terrified.

I hopped out of bed and made my way to my wardrobe, planning on wearing a pair of comfy, worn jeans and a sweater. I almost screamed in horror when I came face to face with rows of leather and buckles.

I never did this! Where are all my clothes?! There isn't a single pair if jeans here…oh wait, there is, the _tight_ kind. WHAT?! My sneakers aren't here either! Just those boots Yami Yugi likes to wear. What have they done to my wardrobe?! Weren't the clothes I bought previously enough?!

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a post-it note stuck to the side of my wardrobe. I blinked in mild surprise – it was just like Yugi to do something like this – and peeled it off of the wood, reading the brief but explanatory message.

_Hope you like the new wardrobe. I noticed you didn't have any buckles so I gave you some of mine! Can't have enough buckles! ^_^ Yami hopes you enjoy your new footwear. Don't bother looking for your old clothes, they're looong gone. *Giggle*_

_Y&Y xxx_

I crumpled up the note and dropped it to the floor, my hands shaking. "Yugi…" My voice is a whisper but I'm pretty sure that Yami can tell I'm angry.

"What did the little squirt do, hikari?" Bakura asked, peering over my shoulder. His eyes flashed when they took in the sight of my newly acquired wardrobe. I couldn't tell what it was that flashed through my Yami's eyes, as it was gone as quickly as it came.

I sighed in defeat, taking out a pair of white leather pants. These ones didn't look _too_ tight. Closing my eyes and hoping for the best, I picked _something_ out of the mass of material in my wardrobe. Cracking open an eye to see what I had, my other one flew open at what I saw. I held it up to the light, noting with horror the slashes that were all over the material.

I automatically turned to Bakura, who was now at my side, and narrowed my eyes in accusation.

Bakura blinked back, looking at the material then back at me. "What?"

I waved the material in front of his face. "Did you do this?! Just because you don't happen to like the clothes I wear, it doesn't mean you have to slash them!" I snapped.

Bakura blinked again, giving me a level look. "You don't happen to like the clothes either, from what I've gathered." He said calmly, raising an eyebrow.

"So?!" I spluttered, "You don't have to ruin them!"

Bakura sighed, picking out a simple pastel blue shirt . He held it up to me. "Does _this_ have any slash marks on it?"

Well…no…what's he getting at?

"Do those leather pants you're holding have slash marks on them?"

I shake my head 'no', still not understanding.

Bakura smirked. "For someone who has lived in this modern world all his life you don't know much about the fashion, do you?"

Ohhh…he means that…it's _supposed_ to be like that?

Realization hit me like a ton of bricks. "What?! There's practically no material at all! It would cover hardly _any_ of my skin!"

Bakura continued to smirk, a feral look gleaming in his eyes. His eyes slowly trailed down my bare torso and my boxer-clad legs, and Bakura slowly licked his lips. I 'eeped' and took a few steps backwards. 

I suddenly felt very, very naked…

"And that would be a bad thing?" He whispered seductively, taking slow, steady steps forward, closing the gap between us.

No, no, no…Damn him and his sexiness! How am I going to get out of this?!

"Yes…?" I tried lamely, noticing he was backing me up into a corner.

Bakura either didn't hear me or was too busy undressing me with his eyes, because he sure as hell wasn't stopping. 

"Y-yami…" I squeaked. "What exactly are you doing?"

Bakura shrugged, but kept on coming. I didn't know whether to cry out in frustration or joy.

Think un-sexy thoughts, think un-sexy thoughts, think un-sexy thoughts…

Um…Pegasus and Mr. Mutou in a hot tub together…

Naked.

_Ew!_ That's just _wrong_!

Sometimes I'm sickened by my own perversion. 

Okay. I'm completely _not_ affected by Baku- oh Kami, there's no room left! I'm trapped! 

"L-look Yami, I need to have a shower and put on some clothes." I said, my voice trembling.

Bakura's eyes lightened at the word 'shower' and I visibly flinched. Licking his lips again, Bakura murmured. "I think you're fine just the way you are."

Thinking fast, I grabbed the shirt from Bakura, pushed him out of the way and ran out of the door, shouting, "ThanksBakuraIthinkI'llhavemyshowernowbye!"

I locked the bathroom door, and leaned against it. My heart was racing a mile a minute. Damn, that was close! Not as close as I'd have liked…but I have to stick to the plan, no matter what. That Yami of mine isn't getting me without a fight. He has to prove to me that he's not just after sex. Though it sounds fun, I couldn't deal with the fact that he was just using me.

But Bakura wouldn't do that to me…would he?

Sighing heavily, I stripped and stepped into the shower. I turned it on and let the hot water wash down on me while I continued to think.

I never thought that this would be _hard_. It's not even past noon of the first day! Damn Bakura and his sexiness! Damn him!

I narrowed my eyes in determination as I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist.

I'll just have to fight fire with fire.

I looked at the clothes and swallowed. To fight fire with fire I'll need to look hot…so there was no escaping it, I was going to have to wear those clothes. I guess I'll have to thank Yugi. I suppose I could do that while I was strangling him for getting rid of my previous wardrobe. I _liked_ those clothes, dammit!

Sighing, I picked up the clothes, telling myself that this was all worth it.

After getting dressed – and realizing that leather really _didn't_ leave room for anything else – I looked at myself in the mirror.

"Not bad…" I murmured.

The material clung to my body, in where I suppose you could say were the right places, but the light colours helped me to keep the whole 'innocent hikari' thing I had going. You get a lot of things that way…and there was one thing in particular that I wanted.

"I'd have to agree there." A voice purred.

I jumped, staring wide-eyed at Bakura in the mirror, who was standing directly behind me, evidently. When did that happen?

"How long have you been here?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm – failing miserably.

"Not long." Bakura said, waving his hand dismissively. I visibly relaxed. "I need to use the bathroom*, and you're like a girl when it comes to getting ready." Bakura said, picking up the ring and putting it over my head.

"Perfect." He whispered, staring at me intently in the mirror.

Again with the girl thing. I'm not _that_ feminine, am I? 

I caught his eyes in the mirror, and they had the gentlest look to them I'd ever seen. I smiled, a warm and fuzzy feeling rising in my heart.

Well, I suppose I could let the girl thing slide…

Bakura blinked as if realizing something and cast his eyes downward, a frown marring his handsome face. With the moment broken and feeling slightly disheartened, I silently stepped away from Bakura. I chanced a glance at him, and his expression hadn't changed. He was so deep in thought I decided to leave him be. I made my way towards the door.

"Hey Ryou?"

I turned around to face Bakura, and was shocked by what I saw. He looked so…lost. That was the only word to describe it. I'd never seen him appear so vulnerable before. I was seriously worried and confused about the recent turn of events.

"Yes Yami?" I answered tentatively.

Bakura bit his lip, casting his eyes downward again.

"I…you know that I care about you, don't you?"

I blinked. What had made him say that? 

I walked up to Bakura, who looked up in surprise. Without a word, I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. After a second of what I'm guessing was hesitation, I felt Bakura wrap his arms around me and rest his chin atop my head, exhaling softly.

"Of course I know, you stupid, deranged Yami." I murmured fondly.

I heard a snort of amusement, but instead of letting go of me or pushing him away like I expected, Bakura tightened his grip and sighed. He _sighed_!

Bakura was going to say something else earlier, I'm sure of it. But what? And what does this sudden show of affection mean? He couldn't possibly have found a way to read my thoughts…so he can't know and be using that against me.

Too happy and confused to think straight, I just concentrated on the feeling of Bakura's arms around me. 

Besides, I can always seduce him later.

***************************************************************************************************

*  - Yami's don't need to use the bathroom… *grins*

Well I hope you're not disappointed with that, especially after the long wait.

Yami: *pouts* I was going to say that.

… 

_Anyway_, I'm already working on DLS&P (Why did I call it that? -.-;) I've got half of the new chapter done, but since this is the favourite this was my main priority.

Yami: I never would have guessed.

*Restrains self from _seriously_ hurting Yami*

Yami: *smirks* What could you seriously do to me, mortal?

I could bloody well make Yugi fall in love with Bakura in my other fic! _Would you like me to do that?!_

Yami: *pales* No…

Then shut up! 

Review, onegai! ^^;


	10. All in the name of love

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

I know I'm not very speedy with my updates, but I got stuck with how to do this chapter and what to do _in _it, so it took longer than it would have. I also had my important mock exams to revise for. *rolls eyes* I hate school. But now there's no more school! Yay for the Christmas holidays! 

Many thanks to all of my reviewers. Over 350! I can't believe it! *teary eyed* Well here's Chapter 10! Please don't kill me! I had lots of threats, and I hope that you'll all forgive my late updates, hopefully I'll update my next chapter before school starts again next year.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera.

**Warnings: **Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

*********************************************************************

**Chapter 10 – All in the name of love**

I grumbled to myself as I distractedly tossed a pancake in the air, catching it with a skill one would only have from constantly waiting hand and foot on a dependent Yami. 

Bakura had no idea how to be at least slightly romantic…even if it was supposed to be in a Yami-Hikari, platonic type of way. 

Earlier we had been hugging, and it was like I had died and gone to heaven. The only thing that was missing was the hot and steamy sex… 

Ahem, anyway, we were hugging, and then – just like that! – Bakura stepped away and slapped me on the ass, demanding that I made him breakfast.

The _nerve_!

"Hurry up, hikari! I'm hungry!"

I ground my teeth in irritation, more than likely to turn them into dust at the rate things were going, and if he didn't shut the hell up!

"Yes, Yami." I said sweetly. "I'll just be a minute longer."                       

"What can we do today, hikari?" Bakura asked suddenly, a cheerful tone to his voice.

I put the last of the pancakes on the pile and squirted syrup all over them. Bakura demands that I make them like this. Then again, he pretty much demands everything. 

I placed the plate onto the kitchen table and watched with fascination as Bakura started to devour them. Eyeing my Yami suspiciously, I answered his question with a question of my own.

"Why so chipper, Yami? You want to do something with _me_, before noon when you could either be in bed or watching TV?"

Bakura swallowed a mouthful of pancakes and frowned. "What? Can't I spend quality time with my hikari?"

I raised an eyebrow sceptically. Something was going on…

"You've never wanted to before." I pointed out.

"Yeah, well…" Bakura mumbled, looking uncomfortable. "Now I want to. Is that a crime?"

"When it comes to you, it's debatable." I retorted, sticking my tongue out at him.

Bakura's mood shifted and he smirked, leaning forward with his elbows on the table. "Don't stick out your tongue unless you're planning to use it." 

My eyes widened and I felt my face heat up. Forcing away the blush, I tried to think of something witty to say back, something clever that would get him wondering.

"Maybe I was?"

With that, I picked up Bakura's now empty plate and put it into the sink and proceeded to wash up, feeling like kicking myself.

Yeah, way to go there, Ryou. Now he'll think you're some kind of slut. Malik, Marik _and_ Bakura? Baka! Of all the things you could have said you go and say _that_. Clever and witty my ass.

"So are we going out today or what?" Bakura asked impatiently.

I blinked, not sure whether I should be upset, angry or relieved. He had either not heard me, was pretending he hadn't heard me, or he didn't give a damn. Not wanting to dwell on the matter, I thought about what we could do.

…Wait…

"You mean go out, as in _outside_?" I shrieked, whirling around to face Bakura with wide eyes.

Bakura rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah, that _was_ the general idea."

I shook my head frantically, terrified. "No, no, no! Hippos! Big, fat, ugly, scary hippos!" I ranted, gesturing wildly with my hands.

Bakura raised an eyebrow, looking at me weirdly before rolling his eyes again. "Look, if we see any…er, hippos, I'll banish them to the Shadow Realm for you, okay?" He said soothingly. Well, as soothingly as Bakura could accomplish anyway.

I was still scared at the thought of running into one of those …_things_ again, but as long as I was with Bakura I'd be safe. At least I hoped so…

Finally I nodded, stacking the last plate to dry.

"Hmm…where can we go…there's always the arcade but the Pharaoh and his groupies will probably be there…there's the mall…but Ryou doesn't like me stealing…"

"You're banned from there after you somehow made one of the shop alarms go off anyway." I reminded him, frowning slightly at the memory.

"It was an accident!"

"Oh, and I suppose the fact you had stolen half the shop's contents was an accident as well, ne Yami?

"Shut up." Bakura snapped sulkily. "What are you, my Mother?"

I narrowed my eyes at Bakura, but said nothing. Scowling, I turned silently and stalked out of the room. 

I suddenly don't feel like going out. _Stupid Yami_. I'll just get out my Stephen King book and read. I'm a regular bookworm, you know. You wouldn't think I read horror novels by looking at me. Then again, you wouldn't think I was as perverted as I am. Looks can be deceiving.

I'm currently reading the Bachman Books, when he wrote under a different name. The first one's called 'Rage' and it's about a mentally disturbed teenager.

He kind of reminds me of Bakura, actually.

Smiling faintly, I picked the book off the coffee table and began where I'd left off. Ah…Charlie had killed two teachers and was holding his class hostage. He was currently talking to a psychiatrist type person over the intercom. It's quite funny, really.

Or maybe Bakura's odd sense of humour is rubbing off on me.

I jumped, startled, as aforementioned Yami stormed into the room, looking quite livid.

"That's it!" He snapped. "We are going out, we're going out now, AND WE ARE GOING TO HAVE _FUN_!" That said – more like shrieked – he promptly grabbed a hold of my arm and dragged me out of the door.

I dug my heels into the pavement, yanked my arm to try and get away, and attempted to pry Bakura's vice-like grip off of my arm with my free hand.

"Yami! Let me go!" I whined, not really getting anywhere.

Did I ever mention how strong Bakura is? Well he's really, really strong. Or maybe I'm just weak? Eh, probably both. So I was pretty much stuck doing whatever he wanted to do.

Pouting, I let Bakura drag me along. He is such a jerk. "We are going to have _fun_." I mimicked, pulling a face at Bakura's back. Who is he trying to be, Anzu?

Without slowing down or glancing at me, Bakura muttered, "I heard that."

"I can walk you know." I mumbled. His grip on me was painful, and he walked too fast. I couldn't get a good look at his ass either. Where's the fun in that?

"I know."

Yes…and now you're supposed to let go…

Did he do that, though?

Nooo…

He just kept on walking.

A movement caught my eye on the other side of the road and I darted my eyes in that direction, only to see some overly large guy amble his way to wherever he was going, wearing a bright yellow t-shirt and scruffy jeans. My nose wrinkled in distaste.

I inwardly sighed with relief. I'd thought it was that lady for a second. I better be on the lookout, who knows, she could have followed me home. I shuddered involuntarily at the thought.

I fought the unexplainable urge to bite Bakura's hand so he'd let me go. I might pass someone I know, and I don't want what little reputation I have to go down the drain.

Bakura suddenly stopped, almost causing me to send us both sprawled across the sidewalk. Fortunately Bakura has good reflexes. Or unfortunately, depending on which way you look at it…

"Hi there." Bakura smirked, looking down at me as he held me in his arms.

"Hi." I squeaked, my face bright red.

Oh God…he could just lean down a little further and then we'd…no, no, no!

I jerked back and jumped out of Bakura's arms. "So! Where are we going?!" I shouted cheerfully, mentally cringing at all the stares I was getting.

All in the name of love, Ryou. Keep reminding yourself that…

Bakura gave me a weird look, but smiled at my 'enthusiasm' none the less. He's so sexy when he smiles, so he doesn't need to know that I'm going to kill him for making me go outside, does he?

"Since we can't go to the mall, I figured we'd go here!" Bakura announced proudly, pointing at the overly bright flashing lights of the neon "Domino Arcade" sign.

"The arcade?" I asked, confused.

"I know the Pharaoh will be there, but all the more fun for me, ne?" Bakura said, cackling evilly to himself in that deranged way that he does. I could already see the fiendish cogs working inside his head.

"Great." I replied meekly, still recovering from the incident moments ago.

Bakura smirked. I'm guessing he's already formulated a plan, oh _goody_. He grabbed my hand and dragged me through the entrance; leaving me to shout apologies to all the people he rudely shoved out of the way.

All in the name of love, Ryou. All in the name of love…

*********************************************************************

There! It may not be the longest chapter, but people seemed to be getting impatient so I figured if I updated now, I'd be able to get the next chapter out sooner. *angelic smile* Aren't I so considerate?

Yami: -.-;; Suuure…you just don't want to get attacked by your reviewers.

Eh heh…that too. ^^; Oh, and in the next chapter Ryou may have a run-in with a certain someone he never wanted to see again…*cackles*  Anyway, please review and tell me what you think! Arigatou, and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all! ^_^


	11. A Proposal

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

I know I'm not the best at updating, but I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Well I won't be updating as often for a while, probably until this school year is over. It's my last year, year 11, and I have to finish off all my coursework, projects and revise for my exams. It's not gonna be pretty. I'll try and update when I have the free time, though. It's just a warning.

Oh, and on 7th February I went to see Blink182 in Manchester! It rocked! They are so ace; I love Tom, Mark and Travis so much. ^___^ 

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

***********************************************************************************************

**Chapter 11 – A Proposal**

"Hey! Ryou!"

I glanced around at the sound of a familiar voice before I caught sight of spiky, tri-coloured hair.

"Yami, stop dragging me around, Yugi's over there!" I said, pointing in Yugi's general direction with the hand not currently in my Yami's death grip.

Instead of letting me go, Bakura merely grunted and changed direction, heading towards Yugi, who appeared to be alone.

"Hey." I greeted, slightly worn out due to being dragged the whole way here.

Yugi smiled at both Bakura and myself before raising an eyebrow at our still-linked hands.

"Are you two together?" He asked, gazing at me quizzically. 

I flushed and shook my head, trying to slip my hand out of Bakura's, but he would have none of that.

"What business is it of yours, brat?" Bakura snapped harshly, but Yugi didn't even flinch.

My eyes narrowed and I opened my mouth to scold Bakura, when I was beaten to it by a deep and authorative voice.

"Don't talk to my hikari like that, Tomb Robber." Yami Yugi snarled, coming up behind Yugi and slipping a possessive arm around his waist.

"I'll talk to anyone however I please, Pharaoh." Bakura replied, sniffing disdainfully.

I rolled my eyes and exchanged an amused look with Yugi. Those two will never change.

I could feel a piercing gaze on me, and I lifted my eyes to find crimson orbs boring into me. I barely prevented a surprise squeak. Yami's eyes held a knowing glint in them, and I then realised that my hand was still linked with Bakura's.

/Can you let go of my hand now?/ I asked self-consciously, tugging at it to get my message across.

Bakura and I followed Yami and Yugi through the crowd of people, obviously going to find where everyone else was.

When I got no reply on Bakura's part, I tried what I hope was a more reasonable approach. He was gripping my hand quite painfully.

/Well can you at least loosen your grip? I think you're cutting off the blood circulation./

Surprisingly, Bakura complied. I looked up at him to flash him a thankful smile, but he refused to look me in the eye. I rolled my eyes. What was wrong with him? Honestly, sometimes he really reminds me of a hormonal teenage girl. Nice and happy one minute – as scary as that is – and bitchy and moody another.

When we caught up with the group and I had greeted everyone, I did what I usually do and stood to the sidelines. Though Jounouchi kept glancing at me when he was sure Bakura's attention was elsewhere and would give me the thumbs up. What the hell did that mean?

"So, Tomb Robber, ready to be beaten by the great King of Games?"

Well that did it. Before I had the chance to blink Bakura and Yami were off somewhere to compete in some sort of game. Now normally I wouldn't be worried. Yami would win, Bakura would come back extremely pissed, but other than that all would be right in the world. But lately things had gotten more competitive between them, and Yami had been obsessed with humiliating Bakura.

And I mean _really_ humiliating him.

Somehow Yami would persuade Bakura to arrange a bet, and Bakura would end up with the worse end of the deal; mainly because he lost every time. Being the tenderly caring hikari that I am I usually try to make Bakura see what a fool he is, and that making bets with Yami Yugi would be his downfall.

Actually, I just watch their antics and laugh whenever Bakura has to do something really embarrassing.

Hey, just because I'm supposed to be a pure and innocent soul doesn't mean that I can't laugh at others' misfortune, does it?

Sighing in boredom, I watched Yugi cream Jounouchi at air hockey. For someone so small he sure could hit that puck hard. Even now Anzu would cheer Yugi on as if we were still on Kaiba's blimp and this simple game would decipher whether the world would plunge into the darkness of the Shadow Realm. Stupid girl.

"Hiya Ryou, where's lover boy?" 

Without moving my eyes from the game between Yugi and Jounouchi, I said, "He's not my lover, Malik. And currently, he's playing a game somewhere, getting his ass kicked by Yami."

Malik laughed beside me. "Come now, Ryou, where's the faith? What if Bakura wins?"

I spared Malik a look, raising a sceptical eyebrow.

Malik nodded. "Yeah, okay, he has no chance in hell."

Jounouchi let out a '_I'm the man!_'  for scoring past Yugi for the first time, before Yugi scored again and won the match. Sulking, Jounouchi stepped down and went to find his boyfriend for comfort. At least that's what I'm guessing he's doing. You would never have thought Kaiba to be the romantic type. Shows how much I know.

Come to think of it…am I the only person without a boyfriend or girlfriend? Honda and Otogi have something going on, Yami and Yugi are so in love it makes me ill, Malik and Marik are fucking like rabbits every night – they graciously told me so – and Kaiba and Jounouchi have their own weird relationship. Damn, we're just one big group of gays. No wonder people keep their distance. Well, there's that and the fact that they're terrified of Yami and Kaiba. 

Then again, Anzu's single, but she doesn't really matter. I think we all let her hang out with us because we don't have the heart to tell her we don't like her. No, wait…Bakura's told her that many times but she just stands there with a blank look on her face, before smiling brightly and finding someone else to annoy.

"That's my cue." Malik announced, jolting me out of my thoughts. I watched him challenge Yugi with an amused smile on my face, right before Yami and Bakura came back. As expected, Yami looked positively smug, whereas Bakura looked livid. Actually, he looked kind of embarrassed, too. I wonder what he had to do this time.

Bakura stalked over to me, scowling, and hoisted himself onto one of the machines next to me, ignoring the warning look from one of the arcade attendants nearby. 

"So…" I started, trying to talk about something without setting Bakura off. "Yami won, huh?" 

Oops. Bad topic.

"Shut up." Bakura snapped. Oh God, he's going to be angry for hours. What _fun_. Though I really do want to see what his embarrassing task is. 

Yami sauntered passed, looked pointedly at Bakura, and carried on his merry little way. This seemed to make Bakura even more angry, and he crossed his arms, huffing to himself.

"What do–"

"None of your business!"

"Oh fine." I snapped back, getting up and walking away. 

What a jerk! I suddenly felt really upset and tears threatened to fall. Malik cast me a concerned look, before cursing as Yugi shot the puck into his goal. I walked away from my friends and my oblivious Yami, wanting to spend some time alone. 

I smiled bitterly to myself as I found a more secluded area of the arcade. Finding a seat, I plopped down onto it, burying my face in my hands.

Things were getting harder for me. Bakura's harsh words were beginning to really hurt. They never had before. My weird obsession had started out as lust. I'd started noticing how sexy my Yami was, how nice his ass was, fantasising about us, you know…_doing it_. Bakura was his usual bitter, spiteful self, and I was living in my own little fantasy world.

Then things changed. I started wondering what it would be like to have a relationship with him, to hear him say how much he cared for me; mushy crap like that. It took me a while, but I eventually realized I was in love. 

I'd slowly started to notice a change in Bakura soon after my revelation. He seemed nicer; he'd spend more time with me rather than out terrorising other people, he'd even insinuate certain things that would make me question our supposed platonic relationship. But now I wonder whether I'd just imagined it all. Why would someone as sexy as Bakura want a relationship with someone like me?

I sighed heavily. Thinking about it just made me even more depressed. 

"Ryou!"

I blinked, confused, as a voice I didn't recognize called my name.

"Ryou, _darling_!"

It didn't sound like a teenage voice, and I knew it was female…

"Yoo-hoo! Over here!"

Terror gripped me, and slowly I turned to my left, to see that…_thing_ make her way towards me. 

"I've finally found you, my love."

_Kami-sama_. Help! How the hell did she find me? How does she know my name? …Did she just say, 'my love'?!

Squashing my pride, I contacted the only person I could. 

/YAMI!/

She was stood directly in front of me now, blocking my only means of escape. There was no way I could get round her…really. She beamed at me, looking positively _disgusting_ in her floral dress. The woman had tires. _Way_ too many tires.

"W-who…are you?" I managed to squeak out.

The woman looked devastated. "You don't remember?"

I shook my head. In reality I _did_. That violation is going to be imprinted on my mind forever!

Where was Bakura? Wasn't the jerk going to help his hikari in his time of need? He hadn't even replied to my bloody distress call!

"We met the other day on the street." She informed me ever so graciously.

_I don't care! Leave me alone! You must be pushing forty! It'll never work! _

Did I say those thoughts aloud, though? 

Nope.

Damn my polite upbringing. Sometimes I wish I could be like Bakura and simply tell strangers to fuck off.

"…Oh." I said lamely.

"So, honey, what do you say we go for a drink?" 

I was just about to tell her that I wasn't thirsty – hey, it was the only excuse I could think of – before my knight in shining armour made his appearance.

About bloody time!

"Who do you think you are, bitch?"

The Hippo Lady whirled around, facing my Yami in all his terrifying glory. This made me face something of hers that I really didn't want to*, so I pressed back further in my chair, hoping Bakura would just send her to the Shadow Realm already.

"Excuse me?" She asked, appalled.

"Leave Ryou alone, you sick old hag." 

I winced at his choice of wording. She looked like she had a lot of weight behind her. I doubt even Bakura could handle an angry hippopotamus.

The woman took a few steps forward – I was _so_ grateful for that – and put her hands on her hips in a very pompous manner. She stuck up her nose, glaring at Bakura. "You have a lot of nerve, speaking to _me_ like that. And why should I leave him alone, does he belong to _you_?" 

That seemed to get Bakura. He faltered for a moment, obviously not expecting her to say something like that. Bakura returned her glare full-force, and I could feel his increasing irritation pass through the link.

"_Yes_." Bakura hissed angrily, though somewhat uncertainly.

Hippo Lady snorted, obviously knowing that my Yami was lying through his teeth. But to my utter surprise she began to walk away. But before she walked around a corner and out of my view, she turned to me with a very scary and confident grin. "I'll be seeing _you_ later, lover." To top it off she winked at me before toddling** away.

I continued sitting in the chair stiffly, staring at the space she had previously stood with horror. I'd have to see her _again_?!

"Hey Ryou, uh…you okay?" Bakura asked hesitantly.

"…I think so." I murmured, looking up at Bakura.

"Good, because you scared the hell out of me!" Bakura snapped, sounding scarily like a mother hen. "You yell at me through the link – sounding extremely terrified, I might add – with no explanation of why or where you were! For all I knew you could have been held at gunpoint or something–"

You know, despite the fact he's a cold-hearted, psychotic bastard, deep down I know that he cares.

The thought made me grin, and Bakura stopped his ranting to give me an odd look. Rolling his eyes, he turned around and walked away. I got up and followed him, feeling a lot happier than I had a few moments prior.

Nothing works better than a scary old lady to patch things up between the other half of your soul.

When I caught up with Bakura, he was with Yugi and the gang. The first thing I noticed was that something was slightly off.

Bakura was fidgeting, which meant that he was nervous. Bakura also had a slight blush on his face, which I thought was cute, but it also had me worried. What was Bakura so bothered about…?

My question was soon answered.

Yami Yugi coughed loudly, gathering the attention of the group. "Sorry to interrupt your, uh, _activities_ everyone." At this, Jounouchi and Kaiba stopped sucking face. Jounouchi had the grace to look embarrassed, but Kaiba just looked annoyed at being interrupted.

"But I think that Bakura here has something to say, don't you Bakura?" Yami gave Bakura a pointed look, whereas Bakura swiftly gave him the finger. 

Now not only was all of the attention of the group on Bakura, but some onlookers had decided to see what was going on as well. 

Bakura stepped forward. The slight blush had now increased and covered his whole face. I would have laughed outright.

…If Bakura hadn't started walking towards me.

I had the strange urge to run away – far, _far_ away – but my feet were rooted to the ground. Bakura didn't stop until he was stood directly in front of me. Not only was I embarrassed for Bakura, but I was embarrassed for myself as well.

People were looking! Lots of people, in fact. God damn, didn't they have lives of their own?

Taking a deep breath, my Yami knelt down in front of me. The position reminded me of a fantasy of mine, and the thought made me blush. Scowling inwardly, I tried to banish all perverted thoughts from my mind and concentrate on what the hell Bakura was doing. Was he going to beg me for something? 

Blushing furiously, Bakura took hold of my smaller left hand in both of his. 

"Ryou…will you marry me?"

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*Laughs like a maniac*

* – *Shudders* Who would want some old lady's fat ass in their face?

** – It is a word! It's a weird one, I'll admit, but I thought it fit. ^^;

Review? ^_^


	12. Losing touch with reality

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

Okay firstly, I think some of you guys kind of over-reacted with this whole proposal thing. ^^;;; I just want to say that it _was_ part of the bet, though you'll realise this in the chapter. Not to disappoint or anything, but given all of the events that have happened so far, ending it with a proposal would be a stupid thing to do, don't you agree?

Secondly, I have over 500 reviews!!! *glomps readers* Wow! I'm so happy that you take your time to review my fic, and with such nice comments too. ^_^ Thank you, everyone!

And finally, I'm quite proud of myself for getting this chapter out – I've got a lot of work to do. *nods* My Graphics coursework deadline is due in a few days' time. *cringes* But I couldn't keep you guys waiting any longer to find out what happens. So without further ado, I give you chapter 12!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera.

**Warnings**: Shounen-ai. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

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_Just so you remember what happened last time… ^_^_****

Blushing furiously, Bakura took hold of my smaller left hand in both of his. 

"Ryou…will you marry me?"

**Chapter 12 – Losing touch with reality**

"**_WHAT?!_**"

What the hell does he think he's playing at?! Why would he propose…I don't understand! I'm under-age, we're both male, it's just--I  don't…

Wait a minute…

Bakura's face grew even redder, but he remained on his knees and repeated slowly, "Will you marry me?"

Muffled snickers met my ears, and I tore my gaze from Bakura to see that Yami was desperately trying to contain his laughter, but failing miserably. 

Just as I had suspected…_Yami_. He was behind this. The proposal was the result of a stupid bet between two enormous egos. This realisation had the growing panic inside me fading slowly. At least he wasn't serious. 

Frowning, I looked down at my Yami and pulled my hand out of his. "You're a moron."

Ignoring the shocked look on his face, I walked past him and up to Yami Yugi, who had incidentally stopped laughing. He actually looked quite sheepish. I think the fact that Yugi was stood next to him with a disapproving look on his face had something to do with it.

"And you!" I hissed at the former Pharaoh, "Who the _hell_ do you think you are?! You think this is funny?!" I sensed he was about to nod, but one quick glance at Yugi made him think otherwise. I stood there, boiling in fury, but unsure of what to say. "You--you stupid, stupid man!" 

I heard Bakura slap a hand to his forehead in embarrassment at my insult. I can understand, I mean, he _was_ the infamous Tomb Robber, cruel, powerful, heartless… blah, blah, blah. But this embarrassment coming from the beet-red 'Tomb Robber' still stood on one knee, having proposed to his feminine hikari just moments prior? I think _I _should be the one feeling humiliated.

Yami raised a fine eyebrow, obviously unimpressed with my confrontation. 

An idea suddenly occurred to me, and a slow smirk made its way onto my face. Yami's own smirk dropped, and his eyes narrowed warily. 

"Well at least I don't sleep with a stuffed bear at night!" I exclaimed, childishly.

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Yami doesn't even _have_ a stuffed bear." He pointed out, smiling. "He has me to sleep with at night. Right Yami?" The height-impaired teen asked, looking up at his lover with blind faith.

Yami had turned a few shades paler, and he seemed to have frozen in momentary shock. My jaw dropped.

"…You _do_ have a stuffed bear?" I heard someone ask incredulously. It sounded suspiciously like Malik.

Yugi's smile vanished instantly, and he scowled up at Yami. "Why do you need a bear? Aren't I good enough for you?!"

Giggling slightly, I shot a triumphant look at Yami – who was trying to reassure his usually-gentle-but-currently-enraged aibou – before turning and walking out of the arcade, not giving my Yami a second glance.

**Malik's POV**

I watched in amusement as Yugi stormed out soon after Ryou, his Yami was right behind him, apologising profusely. I've never seen the Pharaoh looking so flustered before. All this over a stuffed bear? I didn't know Ryou had it in him.

My gaze switched to the now-standing Bakura, who had a nasty scowl on his face. Smirking, I sauntered over. My smirk widened as I saw the unhidden malice in his eyes. I'm not surprised. I mean, my Yami and I are taking his precious hikari away from him after all. Well as far as he knows.

"What the hell do you want, Malik?" He spat, glaring daggers at me.

I stopped beside him, blinking in a confused manner. "I'm not here to talk to you, Bakura. I was going to go see if Ryou was all right. He did seem quite angry, wouldn't you agree?" That said, I started to make my way towards the door.

Bakura snarled, grabbing my arm quite roughly, dragging me back to face him. I frowned, wincing slightly in pain. I pried his hand off my arm, narrowing my eyes at him, maintaining a somewhat 'confused' look.

"What's your problem?"

"You are not going anywhere near _my_ hikari." A livid Bakura ground out.

"And why not? He's important to me, you know. He's not yours to control." I smirked inwardly at my choice of wording. Normally I would have said 'best friend', but Bakura would have noticed. Bakura's not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to relationships of any kind, so I'll have to give him a light shove in the right direction.

Bakura's eyes lost some of their anger, and I could see a light sadness in them. It wasn't easy to see, but it was there.

"I know that." He said, somewhat mournfully, though I could tell he was trying to hide it.

I raised an eyebrow. "Then why aren't you letting me see him? I don't want to have to run to catch up to him, you know."

Bakura shook his head. "No…I'll go after him. He is my aibou, after all."

Both of my eyebrows shot up this time. "I don't think that's wise. You just proposed to him, humiliating him in front of a lot of people, Bakura. Maybe it's best if _I_ went to see him."

Bakura's lip curled upwards into a snarl, his anger returning full-force. The sight of an angry Bakura, fangs and all, would have any normal person trembling in terror. I, however, am immune to such things. 

"No you won't. _I'll_ do it. And if I catch you near Ryou in the next 6 days there'll be hell to pay." Without waiting for a response, Bakura turned and ran to catch up to Ryou.

Honestly, do I have to do everything for those two? They would never get together if it wasn't for my intervention. Not to mention Bakura wouldn't have gone after Ryou if it wasn't for me putting the idea into his head. 

Knowing Bakura, he would have probably just moped until late, slinking into the house when he was sure Ryou was in bed to avoid being shouted at. Either that, or avoid being ignored. And Yami's hate to be ignored.

//Malik…I'm bored. Come and play with me.// A deep, silky voice purred in my mind, interrupting my thoughts.

Smirking, I set off for home. This hikari wasn't about to ignore a request like that.

**Ryou's POV**

I stalked home, scowling. People were giving my weary looks, but I didn't care. I can't believe Bakura actually did that. I sighed, running a hand through my hair in frustration. I can't blame Bakura for this. It was only a bet, after all. I'll just blame Yami instead. That asshole of an ex-Pharaoh knows how I feel, I can't believe he made Bakura do that! 

I do feel kind of guilty about the bear thing, though. I didn't even know he had one. Though the thought is quite funny. But knowing Yami and Yugi, everything will be sorted out by now and they'll be doing one of either three things. Cuddling, sucking face or 'making love'. Why don't they just call it sex like everyone else?

Getting back to my point, the main reason the proposal irked me so much is that I thought it was real. Only for a split second, but for that split second I thought that maybe, just maybe, Bakura loved me.

So much for that notion.

"Hikari!"

I stiffened, recognising the voice to be Bakura's. Ignoring it, I picked up my pace. Home wasn't too far away, and if I managed to get home before Bakura caught up with me then I could lock myself in my room. Then again, there was always the ring… I could take that off so he couldn't use it to get to me.

The problem with having an ex-Tomb Robber for a Yami is that he knows how to pick locks. I found that out the first time I tried to get away from him. Luckily I had a bolt put on my side of the door. The only problem is getting there before he does.

//Ryou, will you slow down?! I want to talk to you.//

/Go to hell./ I said, closing down the mind link.

Had I known that this would have made Bakura even more determined, I would have stopped running. But I kept going, and only seconds later, Bakura tackled me to the ground. 

"Oww…" I moaned. My vision was blurry. I think that was due to the fact that my head was just smacked into the pavement. I'm not sure, though. But damn, it hurts. 

I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my vision, and when things stopped spinning I found two sharp brown eyes peering down at me. "Eep!" I cried in shock, sitting up. This caused my head to knock into Bakura's, and Bakura to fall backwards.

Bakura put his hand to his head in pain, glaring at me in annoyance. "Dammit Ryou, what did you do that for?" He grumbled, getting up.

Ignoring the throbbing pain in my own head, I slowly got to my feet, feeling more than slightly dizzy. "Me?! Why the hell did you tackle me?!" I yelled. "Ahh…Pain…" I winced, reminding myself to _not_ yell any time soon.

Bakura glanced at my worriedly, biting his lip. "Are you okay…?" He took hold of my arm to steady me but I shook him off.

"No thanks to you." I muttered, pushing him away once more as he tried to help me.

"Well how else was I supposed to stop you? You wouldn't listen to me." Bakura huffed, crossing his arms.

"Just forget it, Yami." I sighed, trying to get my feet to move. Bakura moved to walk beside me.

The dizziness came back before I'd even taken two steps, and the only thing I could see was the floor rushing up to meet me. I shut my eyes, waiting for the impact. When none came I opened my eyes to see the floor centimetres from my face, before Bakura hauled me back up to my feet. 

"Damn Ryou, you're going to need to lose some weight if you're wanting me to do that again." Bakura muttered.

The dizziness was making me feel sick, and I could only give a weak, "Shut up," in reply. I faintly noticed that Bakura still had his arm wrapped around my waist, but I couldn't bring myself to care. 

"You're in no fit state to walk, hikari." Bakura stated solemnly. 

I giggled at his serious face, he looked so funny when he tried to look like he knew what he was on about! "I'll crawl home then." I said brightly, moving away from him and getting on my hands and knees.

"What the fuck?!" Bakura exclaimed. "Have you lost it or something? I think that hit to the head has done some serious damage." 

I sat on the floor, pouting. "What do you mean, 'lost it'? _I'm perfectly fine_!" I shouted.

Many people turned to look at us, and I saw some asshole I knew from school stop to give me a weird look. "What are you looking at?" I snarled, baring my teeth. The guy quickly went on his way.

Bakura burst into laughter and I pouted again. He doubled over he was laughing so much, and someone that walked passed knocked into him, sending him sprawled across the floor.

I burst into a fit of giggles, watching with amusement as he leapt to his feet, flushed with embarrassment. I crawled over to him, but he edged away cautiously.

"Ryou, people are looking! Get up!" Bakura hissed, glaring at anyone that gave us a second glance.

A brilliant idea occurred to me, and so – with difficulty – I got onto one knee. "Bakura, will you marry me?" I exclaimed loudly. 

Bakura's horrified face made me burst into another wild fit of giggles. Things started to spin again and I fell forwards, using Bakura's legs to keep me from hitting the floor. Muttering curses, Bakura dragged me to my feet, then lifted me into his arms bridal style.

"We're going home. _Now_." Bakura hissed, quickly striding in the direction of our house.

I nodded, cuddling to Bakura's warm chest, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Yes." I said simply, looking up at Bakura.

Bakura looked at me with confusion. "What?"

"I'll marry you." I said, rolling my eyes as if he were stupid.

Bakura flushed, looking ahead instead of at me. "You don't know what you're talking about." He muttered.

"Yes I do." I protested. "We're made for each other. Look, you're even carrying me as if I were your wife!" For some reason I found that idea funny, and giggled quietly to myself. 

Bakura simply ignored me. Sighing, I closed my eyes to go to sleep. Some rational part of me was screaming, telling me that I was the biggest moron that ever lived. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why, though…

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Uh…okay…I don't know what happened but things got _really_ weird. *laughs nervously* Sorry. ^^;; But yeah, the bump to Ryou's pretty little head did do a bit of damage. He just kind of lost touch with reality for a second. 

Instead of going through the whole six days for this to finish, I might just skip a few days. You know, make them uneventful or something? Unless you don't want me to do that, but it'll mean more chapters till the end if you want all six days. *shrugs* It's up to you. ^_^

Oh, by the way, I've updated my site…if anyone cares? So go take a look if you want a fic written for you. *grins* There's a condition, of course.  Also, I've got over my writer's block for DLS&P, and will be continuing with chapter 5 shortly. 

Review please! Ja ne. 


	13. Fuming Spirits

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

Well here's chapter 13. This story's a slightly longer than intended…but oh well. Quite a lot of you didn't want me to skip days, but a few want them to get together sooner. I'm going to skip a days, so it's now 4 days until the 'decision time' for Ryou. Instead of prolonging the day into a few chapters as I've done before, each day will have one chapter. So it's 4 chapters until the end of this fic, but I might do an epilogue to conclude it all. 

Again, thank you _so_ much for all of your reviews! Over 600 now, I'm delighted! ^____^

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera.

**Warnings**: Shounen-ai. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

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**Chapter 13 – Fuming spirits**

I whined pitifully as I sat in front of the open refrigerator, wearing only a pair of boxers. The slow cold seeping out from the appliance wasn't cooling me down any, and if I kept it open for too long it would probably break or something. Bakura would definitely not be able to survive without a 'fridge, and I couldn't afford a new one.

Speaking of Bakura, he wouldn't talk to me about what happened the other day. He had spend most of yesterday avoiding me, so I had nothing to do but watch boring re-runs on the television. I honestly don't know what the hell came over me, but, although I am highly embarrassed – especially about facing that guy from school – even I have to admit it was quite comical, especially my proposal. I crack myself up sometimes.

Sighing, I fanned myself with a hand, using the other to support my weight. It was too damn hot, and thinking in this weather exerted too much effort.

Bakura walked into the kitchen, grabbed a drink from the refrigerator, stopped a second to give me an odd look, and merely walked back out again. 

"It's _hot_!" I cried in my defence, as if that would explain my weird behaviour.

Hot was definitely an understatement. I could practically _see_ the heat waves in the air, and the atmosphere was so sweltering that any form of movement was agony for me.  

That lucky Egyptian spirit wasn't even affected by the heat. He could probably run around wearing all the clothes he owns and not even break into a sweat…though that might be exaggerating slightly. I wish Bakura _was_ affected by the heat, though. Then he'd have to wear very little, and that would definitely be something enjoyable to see…

The phone rang suddenly, snapping me out of my perverse thoughts. I refused to answer it, as the movement would only cause me to get uncomfortably hot. So I merely remained sitting in front of the 'fridge, seriously considering taking some out some ice to put on my body. Though I mournfully considered the fact that it would probably evaporate the moment it left the confines of the appliance.

The phone didn't stop ringing, though, and it was beginning to annoy me. It was quite near, to be honest. But I was adamant on staying where I was.

/Get that, would you, Yami?/ I asked, in a tone that left no room for argument. At least that's what I had planned to accomplish. It sounded more like a whine, even to me.

I could hear Bakura grumbling to himself as he reached the phone, and answered with a snappy, "What?!" 

I leaned back to get a look at Bakura's face, just in time to see it darken significantly. Without saying anything, my angered Yami slammed the phone down. 

"That was rude." I commented offhandedly, raising an eyebrow. "Who was it? I'm guessing you know, despite your brief conversation." 

"_Malik_." Bakura spat venomously, looking extremely murderous.

I smiled brightly, playing my part pretty well, I thought. "Really?" I exclaimed happily, "Why'd he call?" I wiped the smile from my face to suddenly glare accusingly at Bakura. "Oh, _wait_, you hung up on him, so you probably don't know!"

Bakura's anger lessened, and he had the decency to look slightly sheepish. "Yeah…well I don't like him." He said stubbornly, if not somewhat childishly.

I rolled my eyes at him. "But I _do_. If you--"

The shrill ring of the phone cut me off, and caused Bakura to start slightly. I would have preferred to stay sat in a place where I was at least _slightly_ cooler than another part of the house, but I knew I would have to answer it.

Letting out a suffering sigh, I shut the 'fridge door, got up and answered the phone. "Moshi moshi." I greeted brightly, knowing whom it was on the other end, also knowing that Bakura hadn't moved from his spot in the kitchen doorway. 

"_Hey sexy_." Malik purred, and I could just _see_ the wicked gleam in his eyes as he said that.

"Hi Malik." I said, not finding it that hard to blush at the Egyptian's greeting. I did used to have a crush on him, after all.

"_Want to do something today?_"

I blinked slowly, letting the question slowly seep into my mind before I exclaimed, rather abruptly, "Are you kidding?! In this heat?! I'll _fry!_"

I heard a slight irritated snort, and raised my eyes to Bakura's, sticking my tongue out at him, before mouthing the words, 'Get lost', and waving him away with my free hand.

Bakura's eyes lit up with amusement and with a smirk, he leaned against the doorframe, obviously going nowhere.

"Excuse me, Malik." I questioned politely, covering the speaking end with a hand afterwards.

"Yami! Go away! I'm trying to have a _private_ conversation with Malik!" I huffed.

Bakura's eyes ran down my body before they met my own again, and the ex Tomb Robber grinned wolfishly, "I'm sure I can think of something _we_ could do together, hikari." 

I willed away the oncoming blush, and tried to remain nonchalant. Definitely not an easy feat, let me tell you. Rolling my eyes in exaggerated irritation, I ignored Bakura and put the phone to my ear instead.

"Sorry about that, Malik. You know Bakura." I said, glaring at the now pouting spirit. "He doesn't know when to _go away_." I ground out the last two words, trying to make it look like I wanted him to leave. 

Bakura just glared right back at me.

Malik laughed. "_Don't worry about it. Do you want Marik and me to come around instead, then? Pissing off Bakura is one of my favourite pass-times._" 

I giggled and nodded, even though Malik couldn't see me. "Sure, I haven't seen you both for a while. Come round in about an hour, okay?"

"_Sure thing, sugar._" 

"See you in a bit, then." I said, putting down the phone after hearing the blonde's own goodbye.

I dared a glance at Bakura, to see him practically steaming in anger. His left eye twitched. "Sugar?"

"You heard?" I asked in 'embarrassment'. At Bakura's slow nod I laughed nervously, swinging my arms at my sides in a gesture I usually do when I'm nervous. 

"They are _not_ coming in this house, Ryou!" Bakura said quietly, his voice deadly and pale features twisted in a scowl.

I sighed in exasperation. "Yes they are. It's _my_ house, Yami. That's all there is to it." That said, I turned on my heel and made my way upstairs. It's all well and good me being half naked in front of Bakura. He's my Yami, after all. But in front of Marik and Malik?

Noooo.

Muttering curses under my breath about the temperature, I went into my room to get changed. I can't wear leather pants, because I'll turn all sweaty and disgusting, and it'll be way too hot for a British teenager like me to handle. 

I opened my wardrobe, and 'hmmed' to myself in thought. I'm sure Yami and Yugi will have bought me something to wear for weather such as this, courtesy of _my_ credit card.

…But do I want to know what?

After quite a bit of searching and lots of leather and buckles later, I had found items of clothing that I could wear. My face was burning at the thought of wearing things like this in my own home, let alone ever in _public_.

There was a pair of black shorts, white _hot pants_(!!) both of which were leather, and an assortment of shirts; tank tops, muscle t-shirts and the like. What I wouldn't give for ordinary, baggy shorts and a plain t-shirt to wear…

What caught my eye, however, were the sets of wrist and ankle bands that I found. They were mainly made of black leather, but had a wide strip of silver steel decorating them. I thought they looked quite appealing.

After a heavy inner debate, I had gone with the black leather shorts, a black, sleeveless tank top that didn't even cover my stomach, and completed the look with the wrist and ankle bands. There was _no_ way that I would wear those hot pants, they'd barely cover my butt!

The black clothing would absorb the heat, I realised, but as long as I wasn't in direct contact with the sunlight I shouldn't be too bad. I really need to get some air conditioning installed in the house, maybe I can get some extra money from my Dad.

Steeling myself, I made my way downstairs, without taking a look at my reflection. If I saw how very little I was actually wearing I would probably make myself wear something less revealing, despite the heat. 

I walked into the kitchen, about to open the fridge and sit down in front of it--

"What the _fuck_ are you wearing?!"

I turned around to glare at Bakura, "You can't--"

"You're dressing up to impress those blonde sluts, aren't you?!" He interrupted with a snarl.

My eyes widened in shock. "No! Though it's really none of your business, the weather is hot and--"

Bakura snorted. "Whatever.

I felt _so_ angry. Bakura's interruptions and accusations were causing me to seethe in fury. He had no right to say things like that! 

"So you really think that low of me, do you?" I asked quietly.

That question must have caught my Yami off guard because he blinked at me in confusion, obviously not comprehending the fact that I was barely restraining myself from launching at him and clawing his pretty little eyes out.

Bakura shook his head slowly. "What would be low about it, though? Since you adore Marik and Malik _so_ much." He spat, his anger returning as quickly as it had gone.

"Will you _listen _to yourself?" I yelled, giving Bakura an incredulous look. "Are you jealous or something?!" 

"**_No_**_!_" He snapped hotly, a light blush staining his cheeks. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, I don't know. 

"Then why are you being such a jerk?!"

"I don't want you to hang around with the likes of those two!"

"What, like _you_ are any better?!"

I was sure I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes, but it was quickly taken over by anger, if it was even there to start with. I let out a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Bakura just stared at me with an indefinable expression for a while, before his harsh brown eyes looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry." He grumbled.

My eyes widened in disbelief and I fought down a grin at his apology. "What, Yami?" I asked, feigning ignorance. "I didn't quite catch that."

Bakura's head snapped up and he gave me a withering glare, apparently not realising the teasing note to my voice. When he noticed the grin on my face his expression faded, but he still scowled at me. "You heard me. I will not repeat myself."

"Apology accepted." I said brightly, pleased that things had gone my way _and_ had gotten an apology from my darker half.

I think – well I hope – that I hid my relief pretty well. I wouldn't want us to fall out over something so trivial, especially since we can ignore each other for a very long time if we're angry enough. What would I do if things didn't go my way by the end of the week? Dread filled my heart as I realised that, if Bakura really _didn't_ love me, I would have to pretend to date Marik and Malik for Kami knows how long!

The shrill ring of the doorbell startled me into the present, and I inwardly smiled at the look of rage that crossed Bakura's face once more at the remembrance of Marik and Malik. Either he was jealous, or he genuinely didn't like them. I really hope it's the former.

When I answered the door I was met with dropped jaws and wide eyes. I frowned. "What…?"

Marik recovered first and whistled appreciatively. "Who got you those clothes? I'll thank them personally."

I blushed at their roaming gazes, not noticing the glowering form of Bakura near by. "Yami and Yugi." I said quietly.

Marik's smirk slipped from his face. "Oh, never mind then. But I'll have to admit they have good taste." He said grudgingly. 

"Are you going to let us in?" Malik drawled, raising an eyebrow. "Or are we going to converse on your doorstep?"

I smiled apologetically, moving aside to let them pass. "Sorry, come in." 

"Hello Bakura. How are you?" Malik greeted. It would have seemed a polite enough greeting, if it weren't for the huge smirk on the Egyptian's face.

"Go to hell." Bakura said flatly.

Rolling my eyes, I ushered the two blondes into the living room. Instead of sitting close to Malik like last time, Marik sat down and pulled me onto his lap. I gasped in surprise, my face quickly colouring. 

Oh my God, I'm sitting on the lap of a crazy person! …Hahaha, Bakura looks ready to kill! I guess now he knows about their proposal he's going to keep a close watch on us. 

Malik joined us – sat extremely close, might I add – and the extra body heat was making me really uncomfortable. But I was willing to bear it, if only to make Bakura see what he was missing.

Marik chuckled softly in my ear, and slipped his arms around my stomach. I tensed up reflexively and he only laughed again. He finds this all amusing, doesn't he? Ugh, sadistic jerk. Though I won't say that out loud because he still kind of scares me… 

"Relax, Ryou." Malik whispered beside me, so Bakura couldn't hear. 

Forcing myself to comply, I sank back to rest completely against Marik, still feeling uneasy, but trying to hide it. 

//What the hell are you doing?!// Bakura's furious voice hissed in my mind.

I looked over at my Yami, who was currently sat on the armchair to my left, and sent him a reassuring smile. 

/Don't worry about it, Yami./

Bakura's eyes darkened russet eyes bore into mine, and I unconsciously started to fan myself with a hand._ Dayum_, sometimes he looks so hot and he's not even doing it on purpose!

//Don't worry about it?!// Bakura growled. //You're sat on _Marik's_ lap, hikari! Give me one good reason why that shouldn't worry me?!// 

I blinked at him in confusion, stopping my hand. /He's not going to hurt me, and you know it. So why _are_ you worried?/

I was genuinely confused this time. What _was_ his problem? Did me being so close to the two blondes really bother him? Did he like one of _them_? He could be jealous of one of them instead of me…

…Or maybe Marik was only pretending to go along with Malik and really wanted to hack me up into pieces for having a crush on Malik, and Bakura knew it?

I gulped, not so confident about being safe around Marik anymore, suddenly wanting to be as far away from the insane Egyptian as possible.

In my sudden panic, I hadn't realised that Bakura hadn't answered me. He wasn't even looking at me now. Instead, he was glaring fiercely at Marik. I turned slightly to see Marik regarding Bakura with a taunting look that clearly said, 'look what I've got.'

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Ryou?" Bakura said through clenched teeth. 

Normally I would have objected, but my imagination was running over-time with images of the different ways Marik could kill me. I nodded and scrambled up from Marik's lap – luckily without resistance – and followed Bakura into the kitchen, who shut the door so the blondes couldn't hear us.

I'm not cowardly. Not at all. I'm just…worried for Bakura's safety, yeah! I mean, I'm not scared of dying slowly and painfully… don't be _ridiculous_, but if I'm not around how will Bakura cope with no one to cook or clean for him? The poor guy would go insane. 

Well…more insane. 

"I want them _out_." Bakura hissed, anger radiating off of him in waves.

I eyed my Yami warily, he was unpredictable when he was irritated, and he was _way_ beyond that. "Why?"

"_Because_, I will not have them molesting _my_ hikari right in front of my eyes!"

"Leave the room, then…?" I suggested meekly, feeling slightly intimidated. Bakura hadn't been this angry in a long time…

Bakura seemed to sense this and the blazing fire in his eyes dimmed slightly, but it was still there. "That's not the point, hikari." Bakura said, sighing deeply. "I don't want to see you hurt those by two. You know what they're like. It may seem all great and full of sunshine now, but things never seem to go how you planned…" Bakura's voice had grown gradually quieter as he spoke, and he looked particularly troubled by the end of his little speech.

My heart swelled at the words, but I tried to prevent the huge grin that threatened to split my face in two. That was the nicest thing Bakura's ever said to me! I gave Bakura a small smile, which faltered when I remembered that what Bakura said should have insulted me, considering how I was 'infatuated' with Marik and Malik and all.

I scowled at myself internally. I was obsessing over this plan _way_ too much, I barely got to spend any real time with Bakura anymore. We were either arguing, not talking, or nowhere near each other. It was tearing me up inside.

I allowed the smile to reappear, and I looked up at Bakura with sincerity. "Thanks, but I know what I'm doing." I said. "…I think." I muttered to myself.

Bakura's expression was one I couldn't read, though he did look fairly troubled still, but it quickly passed and he had an evil smirk on his face. "So can I kick them out?"

I rolled my eyes. He'll never change. "No."

Bakura's face fell. "But…."

"Inform them _politely_ that I will see them some other time."

Bakura's eyes lit up, and he practically yanked the door off its' hinges and bounded into the living room. I winced at the harsh voices I heard. I heard things sounding suspiciously like, "_Get the fuck out!_" and some rather… unrefined protests. 

I quietly shut the kitchen door and fanned myself again. It was still _way_ too hot, and my lack of practical clothing didn't even help. I decided that the refrigerator had been given enough time to recover, and settled myself down in front of it once I had opened its' door. I sighed in relief. This was better, even if it wasn't much.

I heard another yell – sounding suspiciously like a triumphant Bakura – and the front door slamming shut. Bakura entered the kitchen with a smug look on his face, before it turned to exasperation as he saw me sat in front of the 'fridge again.

I watched Bakura, expecting him to turn around and walk out to watch television or something, but he hesitated, staring right back at me for a moment before he walked towards me. 

I blinked at my darker half, who was currently sat next to me. "Yami, what are you doing?" I asked, bewildered.

Bakura smirked at me, dark eyes glittering in amusement. I felt my face heat up at our close proximity. "Sitting with you, what does it look like?"

"Yes…but why?"

"Do you always have to ask questions, hikari?" Bakura asked in irritation, but he still seemed to be in a pretty good mood considering he was practically foaming at the mouth earlier. It simply backed up my earlier conclusion – he acts like a hormonal teenage girl.

Deciding I wasn't going to get an explanation, I opted to remain silent. I snuck a look at Bakura out of the corner of my eye, to notice that he was in his own little world. I felt touched that he had bothered to sit with me, it had been pretty boring doing nothing, after all. Sorting out the contents of the fridge into categories had only occupied me for so long.

I turned my attention away from Bakura, although he's nice to look at, it would be hard to explain exactly _why_ I would stare at him in the first place. He thinks I'm over him now. At least…I think he thinks that.

With a mental sigh, I snuck another quick look at Bakura, who was currently scanning the products inside the refrigerator. He seemed to have noticed some sort of order to the arrangement, because he turned to look at me, and raised a disbelieving eyebrow, but said nothing.

I flushed in embarrassment, crying, "I was bored!"

Bakura merely shook his head and chuckled, before his eyes caught sight of something in the refrigerator and brightened.

"Ooh! Chocolate pudding!" He squealed in delight, before pulling the container out of the fridge and devouring the dessert.

Bakura and his puddings… Smiling secretly to myself – Bakura would be insulted at the fact I was finding him amusing – I realised how endearing my Yami looked with chocolate all over his face. True, he did look quite foolish, well, to be honest, Bakura _is_ foolish. But my smile widened as I watched Bakura, who had managed to get chocolate pudding on his nose and was now glaring at it, making himself look cross-eyed.

I laughed outright, and Bakura switched his glare onto me. 

He's such an idiot. 

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

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Sorry that took quite a while to get out, but I got stuck. I had written quite a bit, but I thought it sucked so I re-wrote it. I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter, but I'll deal. *shrugs* Anyway, it's 1:10am and I have school tomorrow…so I better go to bed. 

Well, what did you think? I liked the ending, kinda. I thought it was cute. ^^; Plus, I made this chapter longer than usual! Could you tell? ^_^

Review, please!! Ja ne!


	14. A Day at the Beach

**Hentai Ryou**

**By Vada via cretino**

I'm extremely sorry to all of you that expected me to update quickly. Well, I _had_ planned to. I had most of the chapter done and everything. -sigh- But my computer is like, six years old, and decided that now was the time to die. This had something to do with the fact that I have too much on the C drive, and therefore there wasn't enough memory to open programs such as word, which sucked. I still don't have a properly functional computer, but I can use school's every now and again. Obviously, due to my A Level work, I don't have that much time to update, but I managed to send my chapter to school, and I can use few things on my computer, but not for long and there's errors everywhere and UGH. But, here it is! I'm extremely sorry, and probably won't get a new computer until Christmas time, but I will TRY to update my stories during this time. I can't promise anything, as it took me this long to sort my computer out enough to just do this. So I would appreciate it if you guys didn't grill me about the slow update, as well as with my next one. I'm trying! Anyway, that's my reasoning out of the way.

I'm going to use an idea bubbleluvr gave to me in a review. It's quite ingenious really, but I didn't find the review till I went through those of TLW. Kudos to you, and thanks for some inspiration!

Also, thank you ALL for your lovely reviews. I've had so many, despite my lack of updates. Big kisses to you all! xXx

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera.

**Warnings**: Shounen-ai. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

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**Chapter 14 – A Day at the Beach**

I hummed to myself as I walked down the stairs, dragging the heavy blue beach bag behind me. It was another scorching day today, so where better to spend such a day than at the beach?

It was Malik's idea rather than mine, but I'd rather spend a day outside with two insane, sexy blondes than inside with a hormonal, sexy Bakura. Though Malik obviously had less than honourable intentions, probably another scheme to get Bakura jealous. I almost smirked at the image of a furious Bakura; he was definitely possessive of me. That, and he had grown a recent dislike for Marik and Malik.

I got to the bottom of the stairs, making a mental check to make sure I had everything I'd need.

"Where are you going?" Bakura demanded as he exited the kitchen, taking in the sight of me in his shorts and t-shirt.

The idea came to me last night. Why wear clothes I wasn't comfortable with when I could just wear Bakura's? I was still going to wear them, just not in such a public place like the beach, as I was still rebelling against Bakura's forbiddance. They were a bit too big, but they didn't look bad, and it kept me cool.

"The beach," I said simply, hauling the bag strap over my shoulder with a little difficulty, as it was quite heavy, and tucking the blanket under my other arm.

"On your own?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," I said, shaking my head, "with Marik and Malik."

As expected, Bakura scowled, his pale features darkening. "Then I'm coming with you."

"I don't really think you're invited…" I argued hesitantly.

All part of the plan. I knew he'd come anyway, that was Bakura for you. It was quite cute, really.

Bakura's scowl deepened. "So what? I'm coming, and that's that."

"What if I don't want you to?" I blurted suddenly. It wasn't part of the plan… it just came out.

Bakura stared at me in surprise, and looked a little hurt. "Don't you want me to come with you?"

I bit my lip and stared down at my feet. Of course I wanted him to come! Hello? Bakura in no shirt? I'd be mad to pass that up!

"No, that's not it…it's just, would you come against my wishes?" I asked, looking back up into his surprisingly sober eyes.

I really did want to know, actually. Bakura usually just did whatever he wanted, no matter what anyone said to him. So would he listen to _me_?

"Of course not. I wouldn't come if you didn't want me to," he said indignantly, offended.

My heart swelled at his admission and it felt as though it was going to burst out of my chest. I can't help but feel guilty, though, because I think I've actually hurt his feelings. The thought of hurting him actually hurts me too, which is hard to explain. Which makes me realise… Bakura's going to freak if he finds out about the plan. Not in the good way when he can't work an appliance, or when someone looks at me for too long, but genuinely angry. I just hope that he never finds out.

I smiled at Bakura apologetically. "I don't think Marik and Malik would like it, but I have no objections if you want to come."

Bakura's face instantly lit up. "I'll be right back," he said, and practically ran up the stairs.

I stood at the foot of the stairs, waiting for Bakura to return. I could just tell that I had a goofy grin on my face. Love does that to you, I suppose – make you act like a fool and stutter and blush. Or maybe that's just the case for me?

Bakura appeared at the top of the stairs moments later, and it took a large amount of willpower to _not_ drool all over the place. I felt my cheeks heat up and turned away quickly. Bakura was wearing the black leather shorts that Yami and Yugi had bought me – well, I paid, and they chose the clothes – and nothing else.

After taking his sweet time descending the stairs, Bakura flashed me a little smirk. "If you get to wear my clothes, I think it's fair that I get to wear yours, don't you?"

Normally I'd say that turnabout is fair play, but this is _not_ fair, dammit! I didn't answer, instead scowled at him, yet his smirk never wavered.

At some point the bag must have fallen from my shoulders, and without a word Bakura picked it up with ease, opening the door and squinting a little in the bright light. It's hardly surprising; he spends most of his time watching television. Bakura doesn't say so, but I have my suspicions that he watches the action movies to steal ideas on how to do something evil. He seems to have lost his touch lately.

I followed, my eyes shamelessly following Bakura's behind as he walked. I quickly snapped my eyes upwards just as he stopped walking and turned around, a silvery eyebrow raised.

"You're just going to leave the front door wide open?" He asked, and I could hear the laughter in his voice.

Here's another problem I have to face daily with Bakura. He's sexy and he _knows_. He flaunts himself all the time, and I think he does it purposely just to torture me. Seeing as he can't torture anyone else, anyway - not successfully.

I merely glared at him and closed and locked the door. When I'd turned back around Bakura just smirked at me.

"Jerk," I muttered as I stormed past him, hoping the journey to the beach would be quick and painless for me.

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"Ryou!" Malik greeted jovially as Bakura and I stepped off the bus, rushing over and pulling me into a hug, causing me to drop the blanket.

I'll never understand how Malik can just pull away from a make-out session with his darker half and carry on as if nothing happened, especially when looking so dishevelled. I somehow managed not to laugh at his mussed hair and flushed cheeks, though.

Bakura made a weird sort of choked, growling noise at Malik, much to Malik's amusement.

Slipping his arms around my waist, Malik peered at Bakura from over my shoulder, fluttering his eyelashes demurely. "Hi Bakura," he said, grinning. Malik's hands went even lower, causing me to squeak in an embarrassingly undignified way when he squeezed my butt.

"Malik!" I cried in mortification, pulling his hands away roughly. Malik merely snickered at me and stepped away, smiling when Marik appeared beside him, linking their hands together.

"Malik, Marik," Bakura acknowledged coldly, crossing his arms across his chest, looking very irritated, as opposed to the blondes in front of us.

/Why did you want to come if you're just going to be all grouchy?/ I asked, his anger filtering through our link and making me irritable.

-/Who knows what they'll try to do to you?/- Bakura muttered, before he followed Marik and Malik, who had started walking along the slightly uphill path that led to the beach.

I rolled my eyes as I picked up the blanket before following as well, making sure to stay a little way behind so I could watch Bakura's leather-clad ass as it swayed slightly while he walked.

/But what business is it of yours?/ I countered.

-/I _am_ your Yami, in case you had forgotten,/- Bakura said indignantly, -/So what happens to you _is_ my business, as I'm meant to protect you and stuff./-

/And stuff? Oh, that fills me with confidence./ I said sarcastically. /And since when have you ever protected me?! You're too busy watching television or _stealing_ to aid _me_ in anything!/

-/What about when I saved you from that fat woman in the arcade?/- Bakura asked smugly.

I didn't answer straight away as we had reached the top of the small hill and the sparkling blue ocean came into view, full of children, teenagers and adults alike all swimming and playing in the waves. I bit my lip as I noticed how full the beach was. It was _crammed_ full of Domino residents taking advantage of such nice weather. How were we going to find anywhere to sit?

-/Well?/- Bakura snapped impatiently – though still sounding smug, of course – breaking into my thoughts and reminding me to move my feet.

/It was your fault that happened in the first place!/ I argued, annoyed.

I felt Bakura's confusion for a brief second before it disappeared. I guessed that Bakura had covered it up, so as not to look like he wasn't in control of the situation.

-/How was it _my_ fault?/- He asked, affronted.

Not wanting to divulge Bakura with that piece of information, I sent him a mental glare – plus a real one at the back of his head for good measure – alongside the mental image of my middle finger.

-/End of discussion, I take it?/- Bakura asked in an amused tone.

Despite my best efforts to stay angry, my lips twitched upwards of their own accord and my ill feelings washed away. I could feel that Bakura's mood had lifted, which had, in turn, made me feel better as well.

I blinked in realisation when I noticed something for the first time. I could _feel_ his emotions. I had been able to for a while now, why had I not been more aware of this sooner? Normally he blocks himself from me, liking to keep to himself. Feeling slightly awed and thrilled, my smile grew until I was sure I looked like a complete moron.

Maybe we were progressing further than I dared to hope?

"Hey, Ryou, you in there?"

Malik's playful voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I stopped walking. Only now did I realise that we'd reached the beach as I wriggled my toes, feeling the warm, slightly grainy feeling of the sand as it filtered between them.

It was as if the mute button had just been taken off, and all of the sounds returned at once – the laughing, talking, splashing and the crashing of the waves as they hit the shore.

I grinned sheepishly at Malik, who rolled his eyes, muttering something about me that I couldn't quite catch. Marik had quite clearly heard and snickered in amusement.

Deciding to ignore them, I glanced around us, noticing that we had quite a large area of space and that Malik had already set out his blanket, and Bakura had placed our beach bag on the sand. Wondering how they had managed to find space when the area had clearly been full, I looked around to see a family of four looking fearfully at Marik, one of the children even in tears as the Mother tried to comfort her. Looking to the other people nearby, they too were casting wary and frightened looks at the intimidating blonde.

"Marik!" I scolded, "You scared people away to find us somewhere to sit?!"

Marik merely smirked at me, not seeming the slight bit remorseful. In fact, he looked pretty pleased with himself.

"Lighten up, sugar, it's not like he sent them to the Shadow Realm," Malik said lightly, fishing through his bag for something.

I gave up trying to teach the loons human decency, sighing in defeat. I made my way over to where Bakura was stood, glaring at a group of people that were probably a year or so older than me, who were looking terrified. I rolled my eyes, unfolding the blanket and setting it out on the sand.

"Leave the poor people alone and sit down, Yami," I berated, taking the sun lotion out of the bag before sitting down on the blanket.

Bakura raised an eyebrow at the command but complied none the less, settling himself down close to me. A bit _too_ close, really. Had we not talked about personal space already?

I squirted liberal amounts of the lotion on my palms and began to apply it to my legs, arms, chest and most of all my face. I remembered one time when I had forgotten to put sun lotion on and grimaced. My face looked like a tomato all week, I didn't hear the end of it from Bakura for months.

The bottle was swiftly plucked from my hand, so I looked up to glare at Bakura…who's face was inches from mine. I surprised myself by keeping my composure, and raised an eyebrow in question. We were so close I could properly see the colour of Bakura's eyes. They look almost black from afar, but up close they're a really dark brown. I knew this already, of course. I'd pretty much memorised how Bakura looked by now.

"Want me to do your back, hikari?" Bakura asked, grinning, his warm breath ghosting over my skin.

"Uh…s-sure," I stuttered, turning away in embarrassment.

So much for composure.

I heard the _squelch _as my Yami squeezed the bottle – too hard most likely – and jumped at the sudden feeling of the cool liquid on my heated skin. Bakura's calloused fingers gently massaged the lotion all over my back, and I fought the urge to scoot backwards to get closer to Bakura.

The moment was over all to quickly, as Bakura lifted his hands from my skin. But instead of moving away like he was _supposed_ to, Bakura moved closer. I felt my whole body grow warm at the feeling of Bakura's bare chest against my back and his breath caressing the shell of my ear.

"All done," he murmured huskily, nipping my ear playfully.

I jerked in surprise, knocking my head into Bakura's. I moaned in pain and clutched my head, leaning forward to rest it against my knees.

Way to go, idiot! You just _had_ to ruin the moment, didn't you?! Ow…

"What was that for, Ryou?!" Bakura's pained voice exclaimed from behind me. I wasn't completely sure, but I thought I heard him mutter something else afterwards. I caught bits of, "Not again…bad luck…stupid hikari…"

"Y-you bit me! I was _surprised_!" I exclaimed indignantly into my knees, trying to hide my embarrassment.

"Yes, because--"

"Ryou!" Malik exclaimed from somewhere, cutting Bakura off.

Bakura muttered profanities under his breath, which was a waste of time because they were very clear. Well, to me anyway.

I looked up, to find Malik and Marik stood a few feet away, their blanket, bag and parasol – where'd they get that? – abandoned.

"We're off to test out the water, you coming?" Marik asked, smirking.

Ugh, I bet they just saw what happened. I am _so_ going to be teased about this later.

"Um, no, not yet. I'll join you guys in a bit," I said, rubbing my head ruefully.

They both said, "okay," in response and looked at one another before racing towards the water, stepping on children's sandcastles and kicking sand at people while doing so. Those two are so inconsiderate.

I blinked as I remembered Bakura's presence and close proximity. I slowly twisted my body and turned my head to chance a glance at him, to find him staring right back at me. My eyes widened and my cheeks reddened, but I made no attempt to move away.

"Ryou…" Bakura started, slowly inching towards me, placing a hand on my knee, "I…"

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…End of chapter! Haha! I _know_ this is extremely evil of me, considering the very, _very_, **_very_** long wait you guys endured. Also, I _know_ I said that I'd do one chapter per day, but I ended up writing so much, and hadn't even got very far, I figured I'd stop it here. And what better place? -smirks- So there will still be the same number of chapters remaining, as this day will have two chapters to it instead.

I already know how the next chapter is going to start off, as well. -cackles-

Anyway, I can't apologise enough, and I'm sorry to say that the next chapter won't be updated that speedily either, but hopefully, if I can manage my time right and do some writing on paper and then use my free periods to write it up at school, then it definitely won't be a long a wait as it was for this chapter. Review, please?


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